Good evening, fools. I, Doctor Polaris have seized control of this blog. From this pulpit I shall indoctrinate you in the ways of magnetism... And the cult of Polaris! Serve me and I shall use my mastery of magnetism to cure all your ills! Stand against me and you will suffer.
That being said, my apparent death at the hands of the Human Bomb (curse his name!) and the near end of Infinite Crisis have left me with a great deal of non-magnetism related free time. So here I will shower you with my wisdom and dispense my wrath. And none are more suited for that wrath than Marvel Comics.
In this semi-weekly column I will rain terror upon the fools and imbeciles that populate the Marvel Universe. First up? Magneto.
My hatred for Magneto is deep and abiding. Though I arrived with my mastery of magnetism long before that pretender was even a glint in Stan Lee's eye, he receives all of the magnetism related press. So he tried to conquer the world a few times. Big deal. I once became the Earth's south magnetic pole. Has Magneto ever done that?
Additionally, Magneto had the sheer audacity to copy my costume. The cape and the helmet? I was doing that long before he was. I'm surprised he hasn't started wearing stylish thigh-high boots.
The worst is when he starts stealing my apellations. When people call Magneto "Master of Magnetism" or "The Man Who Mastered Magnetism" I can't help but cringe. Those are my titles. Titles that I earned through hard work and attempts on Hal Jordan's life. Magneto is on my list. If he ever shows his face around me I'll teach him what real magnetism is capable of.
Next week? Joe Quesada.
