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"SORRY! CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER, PLEASE COME AGAIN!" (The American Midwest)
Holy Shitwaffles, folks!!
That's the view from out my front door--It was once an apartment complex parking lot! (and there's nothing wrong with the pic--it was taken through a window screen...no way in FUCK I'm actually going out there!)
I know I have readers from all across the globe, and I know for some of you more fortunate readers, a "cold" day bottoms out around 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and the sight of a SINGLE flake of snow sends the community into a panic, closes every school for miles, and causes everyone to hide, terrified in their homes until it's scientifically determined that the "snowflake" was merely a piece of airbourne dandruff.
I'd like to cordially invite such individuals to take a nice, wet bite out of my frostbitten Midwestern ass!
FUCK YOU--FUCK YOU IN THE EAR!
22 goddamn inches! The THIRD largest single snowfall in the history of the Chicagoland area...CHRIST'S HAIRY NUTSACK!!!!
That's my roommate's car. Three fucking guesses if HE'S going to work today! (moot point, anyway, as his work closed today--along with most of the goddamn city!)
Oh, and the fun's not over for us in Flyover Country! For as we struggle to dig ourselves out of motherfucking Hoth, we get the news that tonight we should expect lows of 20 DEGREES BELOW FUCKING ZERO!!!!
I'm so moving :(
Scooty The Snowman
