It seems that every four years around this time the feeble minded fools in the media work themselves into a froth. "Who will be the vice presidential nominee?" they whine impotently. Tonight, the question on everyone's mind is of course: who will Barack Obama choose as his vice presidential nominee?
Know this: I will end the speculation now. It is I, Doctor Polaris.
That is right, you mindless media dogs! Senator Obama has chosen the mighty Polaris as his running mate! Together we will crush all opposition. No one can stand in my way. I will destroy all who attempt to derail my path to the United States Naval Observatory! From there, I shall observe the heavens and plot my domination over all!
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Fools! Did you really think it was me? I have tricked you all! You ran to your "Black Berries" and your "I Phones" to alert your editors... And you have been shamed. Pathetic dupes! I would never accept such a worthless post as Vice President! I am Doctor Polaris... And I will settle for nothing less than Secretary of State.
