Free Imagine Blogs

Yo,


Figured it was time I did a post people could actually read.

As much fun as I'm having with the Get Along Gang from TR, this is still a blog, and I must have one or two readers left who come here for the articles(I do, right? RIGHT?)

So, since tomorrow's Fan Fiction Friday, and I've invited the Super Friends over to lick their wounds afterwards, I thought this would be a good time to continue with my daring expose(don't know how to type accents)on those bizzare creatures who see fit to inflict fanfic upon the universe.

(and we may as well be the Super Friends, we come from all over the world, and we each have special powers: We've got two hot nerd chicks, a smooth-talking Brit, and an honest to Krom fanfic author. Me? I don't need powers--I run the Blog. )

All right: Pleasantries concluded--on with the show.


CHAPTER FOUR: The One-Armed Wordsmith
(Example Specimen: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/06/fan_fiction_friday_the_x-men_in_dirty_x_men.php#more)


This species has interests that go beyond those of its cousins. It's not interested in shocking, mortifying, or scandalizing its audience, and it doesn't seek to suck all Goodness fom the world like so much strawberry-Mango smoothie(proof of the existence of Good if ever there was such). No, the One-Armed Wordsmith(who hereafter shall be referred to as "OAW")honestly finds his subject matter titillating, even if no one else in the universe does.

Essentially, the OAW's writing is little more than glorified spank material. The OAW's work can be distinguished by its detailed descriptions of sexual acts(degrees of accuracy vary between individuals). The OAW also tends toward characters who could "reasonably" be imagined as sexual partners. True, some skew towards the Shock-Jock by employing characters of incompatible ages or species, but these are the minority. For the most part, the OAW sticks with consentual acts between individuals of the same species and of appropriate age. However, DO NOT BE FOOLED! Just because they go easy on the bestiality, pedophilia, and sexual violence that permeate the fanfic world does not mean their stories aren't potentially scarring, disturbing, and repulsive.

Last week's offering is a good example(though not necessarily typical of the breed):http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/08/fan_fiction_friday_harry_potter_and_draco_malfoy_i.php
Disgusting as this tale is, it involved consenting adults engaging in non-violent practices. And it very much carries the hallmark of the OAW--the writer is absolutely in love with his material, and lavishes tender detail upon the acts described(unpleasant though they may be)

The main variation within this species is between those who are really only interested in arousing themselves(the majority), and those who actually seem to fancy themselves Erotica writers. This is usually where the few talented members of the species can be found--and once in a while they can produce works that are truly sexy--even to the sane!

Well, I think that should do it.

I'm glad you took the time to give this a read before just jumping in to the comments. You're not like the rest of them, you're a good person :)

Skewt-ur

And now, our voyage into the nightmarish underworld of the fanfic writer continues...


CHAPTER THREE: THE NIHILIST
(Example Specimen:      http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/07/fan_fiction_friday_the_pokemon_story.php)


I have come to know this particular species very well as it thrives in the environs of Fan Fiction Friday. It has adapted itself so well to this habitat for two reasons: 1. Rob Bricken is an evil, evil man and 2. Topless Roboteers constantly urge Mr. Bricken to feature the darkest, most repellent, most soul-rendingly horrific works on FFF, and he is more than happy to oblige(see reason #1).


Unlike its cousins, the aforementioned Little Scamp and Shock-Jock, The Nihilist isn't interested in provoking his audience--truth be told, I'm not certain who or what The Nihilist's audience is supposed to be. What I do know is his work is not simply shocking or perverted or disgusting--The Nihilist seems to draw his purpose and inspiration from a deep and powerful hatred of all that is good, pleasant, innocent, and positive in the universe. Destruction of anything that affirms life or gives purpose to existence is his only goal.


Overly dramatic, you say? Pompous hyperbole or histrionics, perhaps? That's what the examples are for--click the link, take a gander at "The Pokemon Story". See if you can come up with any other possible motivation for writing such a thing. In fact, this is definitely a species you need to actually observe in nature to truly appreciate. I cannot do it justice, and to be absolutely honest, I don't really want to know why this creature does what it does.


More later, I need to pace myself when it comes to fanfic.