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THIS...FUCKING THIS!!!!


K, few days back Topless Robot posted the new trailer for the zombie game Dead Island, it's brilliant and harrowing and impressive even to a guy like me who'd be perfectly happy to never play a game with cut-scenes in it again for the rest of his life.


Then tonight, I found this on Twitter....and....well, just watch--I simply can't do a thing of such beauty and majesty justice with tools as vulgar as mere words:



Ever wonder if this is the site for you? Ever wonder if you're REALLY a member of our target audience? Well, just answer one simple question and you'll know: Is this the most tremendous achievement in the history of humanity--dwarfing the Pyramids, the wheel, the Theory of Relativity, sliced bread, and Teflon all combined?


If your answer is anything but "Fuck Yes!" Then it was very nice to meet you and I hope you can find a blog more suitable to your proclivities.

Night night!


Scoot of the Dead


(message from THE FUTURE: I can't help but be a little pleased with myself that this isn't something I found out about on TR--this is something TR found out about FROM ME...ok, I should calm down...Rob would've seen it eventually--he follows all the same Twitter feeds I do....But still....^_^b)

Guess who clawed her way out of the grave 5 years ago? The worlds most adorable brain-eating abomination, that's who!!


Hi folks,

Behold the new Header Pic!, will have a real article tomorrow (I guessXD).

Scoot here,

Somehow, I managed to survive what will henceforth be known as "Black FFF" here at SOHB.

This was due in no small part to the heroic efforts of our own Abraxas, who posted a literary antivirus that counteracted the effects of that dreadful little slice of Hell.

Good work, Braxman! If I paid you guys, you'd definitely have a raise coming.



Anyway, I thought to further my own recovery I'd write about something good and pleasant and life-affirming. Something that always brings a smile to my face:




ZOMBIES!

 I feel better already! (the fact that the zombies are also hot chicks is just pure gravy)

The other day, TR did a piece on a new Star Wars novel featuring, apparently, Zombie Jedi. This collision of popular nerd subjects led to a spirited discussion, where more than a few Topless Roboteers voiced their frustration at the oversaturation of the Geek landscape with All Things Zombified.

I understand completely where these people are coming from. As regulars may remember, both myself and The Joltess have voiced our feelings about the encroachment of Anime upon nerd culture. We pointed out that things were approaching the point where Geek or Nerd would soon become synonymous with Anime enthusiast. A situation we find disturbing as we, and many other card-carrying nerds, have no interest in the genre, and resent the assumption that we are any less true nerds for our opinions.

Thus, in the interest of fairness, I felt it was important to remember that this principle applies equally to things typical of nerddom that I do enjoy--like Zombies.

Fellow nerds who do not share my enthusiasm may indeed feel a bit left out, as the Walking Dead have carved themselves quite a niche in our community.


Point is--All people and all nerds are unique, and have their own particular likes and dislikes. Despite what some overenthusiastic fanboys/girls may think, there's no nerd litmus test, no standard all nerds must measure up to in order to be worthy of the appellation.

So, don't like Zombies? That's kopacetic. Feel free to skip the rest of this article.

Come back to us tomorrow or the next day--we're an eclectic lot here, I'm sure eventually we'll cover something that tickles your fancy.

All right--COMMENCE WITH THE ZOMBIE LOVE!




Before you ask--yes, all these pictures will be of hot Zombie girls(it was a really bad day).


So what's the deal with Zombies? What's the appeal?

They're not as sexy as Vampires. Not as deadly as Werewolves. They don't have badass powers like Witches or Warlocks. They don't look half as cool as Demons, Monsters, or Aliens. All they are are shambling, moaning piles of dead, brain-eating flesh.

(Yeah, I said "shambling and moaning". Far as me and this article are concerned--the fast-moving, well co-ordinated, virus-infected pseudo-zombies of Resident Evil or 28 Days Later DO NOT EXIST.)

So why the enormous outpouring of nerd adoration?

Zombies are like a force of nature. Most zombie movies more closely resemble disaster films than traditional horror flicks. What makes them terrifying is while one Zombie is slow, weak, mindless, and easily destroyed or avoided--1000 zombies are practically unstoppable. They don't get tired, they don't get discouraged, they can't be reasoned with or influenced, they feel no pity, mercy, pain, or fear.

They just keep coming until they are destroyed, or you are consumed--nothing in between.

Add to this the definite psychological edge they have over their prey: Zombies come in all human shapes and sizes. They can be men, women, children, infants, the elderly--they may have once been your neighbors, your friends, your family or loved ones. Undead or not, most people will find themselves a teensiest bit hesitant at the prospect of blowing a hole through the head of their three year old daughter--even if the price of their reticence is being dismembered by flesh-eating ghouls.


Ok, I think I made a pretty good case for why Zombies qualify in the terror arena, but why Geeks specifically?








In the case of Horror's other denizens, generally, if they want you dead--you're SOL. Unless you happen to have a wooden stake, some silver bullets, or some holy artifacts handy--the smart money says you're toast.

Zombies are different: They can be defeated by clever thinking, proper planning, technical acumen, and logical reasoning--all traits that many nerds have in spades.

The Internet is overflowing with descriptions of various plans for dealing with a Zombie uprising, all intricately detailed and exhaustively researched.

Probably the most famous of these comes from The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, who would later write the World War Z series.

I purchased this book a few years ago expecting a tongue-in-cheek parody exploring the dos and don'ts of surviving a Zombie movie. Instead, the book is written completely straight and presented as a serious, practical manual for preparing for an assault by the shambling hordes. It's eerily logical and perversely reasonable.

(And yes, that's the book advertised at the top of the article--hope you buy it!)





Ahh...Zombies!



I feel loads better. Thanks for reading and sharing my appreciation for the Ambulatory Deceased. I'll leave you with one of the first Diva videos I ever made: "The Un-Dead Diva" Cassandra Graves!

Btw, there's nothing wrong with the sound, I made this before I'd figured out how to add sound effects to my videos.

Enjoy, friends! and, of course: BRRAAINNS!!!!




Scooter's Re-animated Corpse