You all know that I am a man of many talents. Genius, doctor, physicist, lover, advice columnist. All these things you know. But were you aware that I am also an inventor?
It's true! Though it's a simple matter to destroy my enemies by manipulating the iron in their blood it is much more satisfying to watch them die at the hands of a complicated death trap that you designed yourself.
To wit, I invented the Asphyxyo-Sphere&trade. It's just what it sounds like. It's a delightful little device which -- unfortunately -- I haven't made much use of lately. I thought I should remedy that.
And on a completely unrelated track... I received a letter for my advice column today. Since a certain someone opened up shop across the street I've been getting fewer and fewer questions (doctorpolaris@gmail.com!). Anyway, here's the one I received:
Dear Doctor Polaris,
For the love of God... Somebody help me! I can't see! It's so dark! So cold... I'm trapped in some sort of... Asphyxyo-Sphere&trade!
Somebody! Somebody help me! I don't want to die like this! You've got to help me! I'm begging you! Can't anyone hear me? Is anyone there?
Sincerely,
"Professor" Charles Expert
I think that letter answers itself.
