Free Imagine Blogs

Allo,

Since it's come to my attention that a few of my regulars have an affection for this show, I thought I'd dust off one of my very first SOHB articles for your education and amusement

(plus, it gets me out of having to write a new article! just like when sitcoms do clip shows!)

Side Note: The new page dubbed My Happy Place is nothing like The Meditation Chamber or The Serenity Parlor. I always go over and read the comments left here when I'm not around--which makes me feel half like an omniscient overseer, and half like a depraved peeper. This time, though, I found a comment directed to me was so wonderful I made it into its own page. Tht way, I can look at it whenever life starts to get me down(I'm also having it carved into my tombstone)

Enjoy the memories,

Rootin' Tootin' Scoot














Much to my surprise I find myself spending a great deal of time on YouTube. Not that I've become an aficionado of farting zoo animals or fat guys rocking out to Romanian boy bands. For me, YouTube has become a digital time capsule chock full of treasured mementos from simpler times. Forgotten music videos, vintage commercials, and old stand-up clips all adorn my Channel (see link at bottom of page). So when I decided to excavate some precious relics from my childhood TV schedule, You Can't Do That On Television was the first treasure unearthed.


Not to alienate anyone, but those of you who did not grow up watching smartass Canadian kids get coated in viscous green glory simply can't understand what this show meant to my generation. It wasn't merely a television program, it was a rallying cry, a flag of anarchic defiance. Finally, if only for a mere 30 minutes a day, we could enjoy a kids show that wasn't trying to:
A. Sell us crappy action figures
B. Teach us how to conjugate verbs, or
C. Explain the difference between "Good Touch" and "Bad Touch"

YCDTOTV was pure, unfiltered, entertainment. No educational content, no hidden morals or messages, no safety tips or sales pitches...no redeeming social, ethical, or didactic value whatsoever. Obviously, we loved it with a passion that could not, barring the onset of puberty, be denied.

Oh, and just in case all that wasn't enough for us to swear our undying devotion--OUR PARENTS DESPISED IT! I mean come on, we had no choice but to adore this show now. Once the parents, teachers, and various other humorless authority figures voiced their displeasure, (with a vehemence that would not be matched until the rise of Beavis And Butt-Head) the deal was sealed. Parents never seem to learn that their hatred may as well be a shining golden stamp saying CERTIFIED 100% AWESOME.


Of course, one might think, "How could adults not revile such a program?" After all, every character on the show over the age of 18 (Christine McGlade notwithstanding) was universally portrayed as inept, inconsiderate, amoral, unprincipled, unjust, callous, cruel, and despicable. But this in itself was nothing new. Children's programming has a long tradition of unpleasantly caricaturing authority figures--it's a staple of cartoons, for example.

Was it the vaunted excessive bathroom humor that caught the ire of the adults, then? Unlikely. Again, it had been done before, perhaps not to the same extent, but YCDTOTV certainly didn't invent fart jokes.

I'd wager that what truly provoked the nation's educators and caregivers is what a show with, as I said, no educational value was actually teaching their children. It taught them something each and every one of them already knew, but none of the shows directed to them had the nerve to say, that is, BEING A KID SUCKS OUT LOUD! 

Most adults have a rather selective memory of their childhoods, and think of them as much more pleasant than they actually were. Even I, who still maintain a vivid memory of an absolutely miserable youth, would go back to being 11 in half a second given the chance. These adults create children's programming based on this rose-tinted memory--shows full of happy, attractive, precocious youngsters who always find a way to overcome any obstacle, who never despair, who inhabit a universe where the sky is always blue, the sun is always shining, and the good guys always win. In other words, a universe which practically no child in the real world can relate to.

In contrast to this picture-perfect vision, the world of YCDTOTV is stressfull, unfair, occasionally bleak, and often cruel. Children here are reminded constantly that they have no rights, no autonomy, no recourse, no independence, and no voice. Adults here make it clear that because they are bigger, stronger, older, "wiser", smarter, and more experienced, they are thus in charge and are free to run things as they see fit.

But the show's not about lamenting the unfairness of an adult-run world, it's about surviving it. It said to us, the viewers: "We know. We understand. It's miserable and unfair and depressing, but you're not alone, if we can make it through this insane world, so can you!" Unfortunately, a certain segment of the adult population would rather force children to conform to their fantasy storybook idea of childhood than see them question authority or face harsh realities, and that, I believe, was the impetus behind the negative campaign against this marvelous show.