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Since I haven't shown my face around here in quite sometime, mainly due to the fact that I haven't had much to say anywhere about nerdy things. I haven't been popping up on TR that often lately, just cause I hadn't been in a writing mood. I've been busy trying to get a new job that pays more and getting my own place (so my potential GF could get away from that rat bastard of a boyfriend she lives with and be with me!) and blazing a new trail in my life.
LUCKY YOU! BECAUSE!
Now is a good time for everyone to take a ride on Zortt1's Carousel of Miscellany as I talk about nerdy things that have happened since the last time I spoke on this forum!
Jump on people and take a ride!
First item on the list: As I casually mentioned on TR last Friday, I will be attending C2E2 (Chicago Comic Entertainment Expo) this upcoming weekend. So those who are in the Chicagoland area *eyes at Scooter* who would like to say hi, I'll be in the south side during those times, McCormick Place specifically. I'll be either in my Captain Cold costume or my Topless Robot T-Shirt showering out some love for TR while chatting up some comic book peeps. When I'm not in that area, I'm going to Dekalb to spend time with friends. Shall be a grand old time. If you can't make it, I plan to attend GenCon and Wizard World Chicago this year, maybe we could meet up then. :)
Second item: I haven't touched my Xbox in ages, due to the fact I've been busy and haven't been in the mood to play it. However, I am interested in Dragon Age 2, but that'll have to wait until after C2E2 is over. And I'm also been in a board game mood. My friends in Dekalb and I enjoy playing Arkham Horror, the Lovecraftian game that's quite hard to play but once you figure out the rules to the game its highly, highly enjoyable. Basically, what happens in the game is that you and your friends try to prevent an Elder God from appearing, because if he appears you have to kill him and he generally destroys you with no problem, because well, he's an Elder God. We played this game six or seven times over the span of two days and it was the most fun. There's several expansions to it, so we're trying to accumulate them all for the next time. The game kicks so much ass, but its quite daunting to the average bored game player with a shit ton of rules. So, if you're trying for an afternoon delight game, Arkham Horror isn't the game for you.
Third Item: Quick one: My TR NYE Resolution came true, as hinted in the intro of this piece. She's awesome.
Fourth Item: My collection of The Flash Comics continues to grow with each passing day. I've been buying comics left and right off of ebay and I get lucky at the local antique auction now and then. I hope to fill some major holes at C2E2 this year. I do now own first appearances of: Professor Zoom, Heat Wave, and the idea of calling themselves "The Rogues." I also almost have all of the Bronze Age/Modern Age Flash comics. Next year's Halloween Rogue I'm going to dress up will be Captain Boomerang. I found a custom costume from a website that would be happy to make it for me. All I got to do is work on an Aussie accent.
Fifth Item: I'm eagerly awaiting the third installment of my Back to the Future game. I think it's going to drop tomorrow, because each game has been released on the 15th of each month, so fingers crossed. The second installment was more action packed than the first, the point and click puzzles and which item makes what thing do what I need it to mechanics were much easier than the first and I rarely had to use the help button. It made the story move quicker and I finished it under two hours, not very long at all. This next one has Doc Brown leader of a dystopic future, so I'm looking forward to where that goes in the story.
Well, that's all I can think of talking about right now, if you got questions for me check me out on Twitter, comment on the post, or hit up my personal blog (I sometimes put stuff up on there.)
Much love to you all!
- Zortt1
P.S. - I've been watching a lot of TNG lately, that's why I lead this post with Geordi. Also, haven't you noticed a resurgence of Levar Burton onto TV? He appeared in a lot of my shows this past month. Oh well, I hope I don't go through what Troy did on Community, because Mr. Burton is showing up at Wizard World Chicago this year. Super excited for that.
Labels: Zortt1
(blowing into conch shell)
SUPERFRIENDS! ASSEMBLE!
Hmm...not that simple, huh?
This article is directed at a very specific group of people--a collection of like-minded souls who found my little blog and made it their virtual second home. They came not only to shoot the shit and occasionally comment on whatever nonsense I happen to post, they started to contribute, sharing their unique perspectives and talents with my dear readers. They became almost a family.
And then...They disappeared.
Where did they go?
Now for some of you, I know the answer:
Colleen is still here, we just spent 7 hours straight chatting. She's been here almost every day, and we love our conversations, but we greatly miss the rest of the family.
Robbie, along with being absurdly busy, has been without Internet for the past few weeks--completely understandable.
Myriam and Abraxas are busy as hell with school--Ok.
Joltess recently touched base--she's been occupied with her horses and Canadian Thanksgiving. That's cool. She should be back if we don't lose her to World of Warcraft.
Differences in time zones make it diffficult for many of the Superfriends to communicate at the same time, I know:
I've no idea where our Imperial Ambassador, George, is hiding himself.
FadR has apparently FadEd into oblivion.
I've seen Fabi on the TR boards, but she hasn't graced us with her presence in some time.
I really hope my theory that Aussie Superfriend Doctragon was eaten alive by dingoes is false. You've got the best taste in music of anyone I've met in years--we need you!(you're also kinda cute, I'm not sure why that's important--but there it is)
New Superfriend, but longtime fellow Topless Roboteer Rickicker finally caved in to my repeated begging and showed up at SOHB--and then disappeared. WTF?
And Zorrt1! Where the hell are you? You live like two hours from me!
Look, I know you guys have jobs and school and lives outside of the online world. I'm not trying to get on your cases here. My goal is not to pester or guilt-trip anyone into coming back to the fold.
I just want you all to know: Colleen and I love you and miss you! <3 As much fun as the two of us have chatting, we'd rather have you folks with us when we're having a 7 hour bull session--there's only so much two people can do!
Come back as soon as it's convenient for you:
You guys will always have a home at SOHB. We're not going anywhere.
I'll let Joey Ramone speak for us from the beyond...
See you soon.
The Family Scoot
Labels: Abraxas, Colleen, Friends, George, Love, Robbie, sentimentality, The Joltess, Zortt1
This list of 50 films, is a set of films that I have decided that will be my "Criterion Collection" of films. A set of movies that I use to describe who I am, my ideas and what I think are the best movies. You may not agree and that's ok, but these are my movies. And as always, "THARR BE SPOILERS! YE BE WARNED! "
I just want to quickly share an opinion before we jump into today's film selection:
Thursday Television Comedies:
The Big Bang Theory: Awesome. Great return to form. :)
The Office: Oh my god, please get better or I will have to abandon you. I've been a loyal fan for 6 seasons, but to launch out of the gate like that. Oh my god.
Community: My new absolute favorite. I have great hopes about this show into the far reaching future.
Outsourced: I'm a sucker for anything Indian, so I liked it. I'm actually watching it again as I type this. I enjoy Bollywood films, Indian food, and Indian culture in general. So to get that each week is going to be fun. And that girl with the Australian accent, extremely hot. :)
Shit My Dad Says: (Yes, I didn't put it in its bleeped form, because this is how I refer to the show) I love the Shat, and he's the only thing that makes this show salvageable. I'll give it a few more goes.
And..
Glee: The new Coach is a breath of fresh air, but I want to see where they take the story. The new episode was a bunch of "meh" for me.
Venture Bros.: With each new episode, my hardcore fandom grows three sizes. Its sooo good.
Anyway, thought I would digress for a moment about the new shows and old ones coming back. I'm not a fan of TV dramas, although I will watch a random episode of SVU when its on.
Well, onward to the pick of the week.
#49: Clerks 2
This film was an enigma to me at first.
I mean, I like Kevin Smiths movies. Having seen Mallrats, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back before this one I kinda knew what I was getting into. However, I hadn't seen the original Clerks until I was in college, almost a year after seeing the second one first. Smith's movies have always struck a chord with me, in fact I offered to someone when we both complained of lack of money that we should make a porno.
She said no.
This movie though, if nothing sounded good to watch or my friends and I couldn't decide on what terrible b-rated horror movie out of the video store's basement we would probably end up watching this one.
For those who don't know anything about this movie, its pretty simple. Two losers, Dante Hicks and Randall Graves, who work at a Quick Stop (think gas station without the gas) loose their jobs due to the place burning down and they now work at a local fast food joint run by Rosario Dawson. Still there is their loitering friends from the Quick Stop is Jay and Silent Bob. However, in this installment Dante is preparing to leave everything and Randall is having great anxiety about his friend leaving. The two decided to stay here in New Jersey, reopen their burned out store, and live in the peace that was their life before the fast food place. Oh yeah, in between that there's nerdy talk about Lord of the Rings, Transformers vs. Gobots, inter-species erotica, a spirited debate about weather or not to go ass to mouth, and an attempt to take back the term "porch-monkey." All good family fun. For your amusement, the Lord of the Rings discussion:
First time I saw this, I went to see this with my father. Now, don't freak out. Ever since I was able to drive he and I have been going to see movies. When I first realized that the power to drive was to go to any movie I desired at anytime (fun fact on that, the first movie I saw by myself was Mr. and Mrs. Smith), he realized that the bonding time between us was quickly diminishing. Now, I take him when I don't have a date (which is nearly all the time). One of the first movies that I drug him to that I can remember, was this one.
Walking in he didn't have the faintest idea of what he was getting into. Frankly neither did I really, I wasn't expecting the snappy dialog and nerdy diatribes that awaited to me. I remember sitting next to my father and cringing during the ass to mouth comments, expecting him to scoff in disgust, but instead was welcomed with great big belly laughs. He was almost crying with laughter by the end of that scene. I didn't know the film would have that effect on him, but we were quoting the entire movie all the way home.
In college, the film was revitalized for me because my friends were dining through my treasure chest of movies. Its a metal DVD case that is full of movies, holds over 200, and I filled that whole thing. Its a typical situation, where someone says they haven't seen said movie and we put it in. Again, this movie became a bonding session for everyone involved because we would talk about the Lord of the Rings scene, I would defend the Go-Bots, and we would randomly reenact this scene:
The third and most important reason is this films themes are: not to let other people influence you and change who you really are and sometimes the true happiness in life is always right there in front of you. This really hits home with me, because I had to leave college due to lack of complete focus on what I really wanted in life. I moved 400 miles away from my very small town and I had all these people telling me how I should focus on one thing or another and other people telling me I could do anything and there was even some telling me to stop being so damn nerdy! When I left and came home I found that being at home with my parents and high school friends, was where I am truly happy and content with myself. Since then I have co-opened my own store, volunteered at a local comic book museum, helped to judge local speech and debate meets, substitute taught, and now going to school to be a web developer. All of those things, happened around 30-50 miles of my house. Home is where the heart is, and when we take a collective deep breath and realize that our true calling could be right in front of us the whole time, that's a great feeling.
And as a side note, one of my first jobs was working in a fast food restaurant, so I know how bad that sucks.
Rather than put the trailer up here, like I was going to, I'm going to put this music video someone made using Soul Asylums "Misery, INC."
Next week's is going to be awesome, just don't his say his name three times.
#50: LAST ACTION HERO

Now, I understand what you may be thinking. "Zortt, I thought you would open your regular segment with a blockbuster. Not this embarrassing dud of a film that probably set Arnold on his path to the 5 dollar movie bin at Walmart. Come on dude."
Well, tough shit. I'm not going to start at the movie that means THE most to me. I mean its a list of 50. Where's the suspense there? The argument I'm trying to establish is that these movies shaped me as a person and there are some possible clunkers that you may not think as good, but I'll justify this the best I can. Technically, this was a blockbuster, but it...well...I'll talk about that in a second.
Basically, the film is about a New York City kid, named Danny, who goes to the movies a lot. A LOT. To the point where he misses school all the time and is just a highly distracted kid in a city of hundreds of theaters. They often show him walking down a street that is literately theater after theater. He becomes friends with the elderly projectionist, who is just as big as a movie buff. He also has really great fantasies featuring Arnold doing amazing things: like being in Hamlet.
It should be noted here, that the projectionist is the late great Art Carney in, I believe, his last screen role. Art Carney was a fantastic stage and screen actor. One of out of his many rolls was a merchant who sells Lumpy his holo-porn in the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Anyway, the projectionist lets the kid come late and night to see the latest incarnation of action hero Jack Slater (who is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), however on this special occasion he gives Danny a magical movie ticket that literally puts him in the movie. He is transported into the movie world, hangs out with Jack Slater trying to convince him that he is in a movie while at the same time helping him break the case. At one point they escape the film world back to the movie world, Slater meets the actual Schwarzenegger, and they mention Planet Hollywood a couple times.
Everything in the movie happens with a tongue firmly planted in cheek, because everything that happens in the movie world is an action movie cliche or a nod to other popular movies (such as F. Murray Abraham is in the film as a backstabbing FBI agent, however Danny keeps referring him to his Oscar winning role in Amadeus, a trip to the blockbuster video store in the film world finds Sly Stallone as the Terminator, and the best cameo in the movie has Sir Ian McKellan as Death from Ingrid Bergman's The Seventh Seal.) . Its all in good fun and a great way to poke fun of the action film genre. Here's the video store scene, a fun fact about it first. The woman who's at the checkout is Angie Everhardt, swimsuit/playboy model and quite possibly the sexiest red head I've ever seen (she was at Wizard World Chicago) super sexy. :)
Heck, the film was directed by action screen legend, John McTiernan. This is the man who brought you Die Hard, Predator, and The Hunt for Red October. I looked through his IMDB and couldn't really find another comedic movie. I guess you could say that Die Hard with a Vengeance could be a comedy, but its still a big old action film.
So, if all these cool people were involved, and even though the acting is really cheesy in some parts the movie is actually entertaining, why in 1993 did this movie get sent to the land of clunkers? A little movie called Jurassic Park took a large bite out of it. They came out weeks of each other and people were still clamoring to see Jurassic Park instead of Arnold poking fun at himself. This film was also one of Sony's first films they produced after they had bought Columbia Pictures. When developing the film, they did their now classic ideas of picking a release date before the movie was finished and hoping the film will do spectacularly (Sound familiar? They did that to Spider-Man 3 and look how that turned out.) However, no one knew at the time when Jurassic Park was going to be released and when Spielberg and Universal picked the weekend before this came out (deliberately) there was nothing Columbia/Sony could do about it. It made a good amount of money, but again was way overshadowed by Jurassic Park, so no one cared.
The reason this movie is on my list, is the pure fantasy that this movie brings out. Danny was able to use a magical movie ticket and transport himself into the movie world. He became a character in the film and got to hang out with Arnold. Now who wouldn't want to do that??? I'm a huge movie buff, so that very idea always gets me excited. To travel into the greatest films and have an adventure with your favorite characters, how exciting!
Arnold, Stallone, and other over the top action films have always been a guilty pleasure of mine. (Yes, I did love The Expendables) And for this movie to turn that on its head and take a fun poke at itself is always fun. Having said that, I'm not really a fan of spoof movies (unless its Airplane or Airplane 2: The Sequel) this isn't really a spoof movie, just extremely meta about things. I think Arnold actually says a funny line and turns to the camera to "see" a reaction to his buffoonery.
Does it have flaws? Oh my, yes. Yet, the reason I keep coming back to it is because it always reminds me of my love of movies and the escape that movies provide when you go see it in the theater. The movie does this literally, but I often find myself doing that through the power of my imagination. Its one of those movie that defines the idea that if you shut your brain off, you'll enjoy it better. That's true to an extent, but an astute film buff can have fun with all the great movie/tv/pop culture references that gets you through the film and makes you love the idea of movies again.
Here's the trailer:
So that's number 50 in the list. Trust me, it gets better from here. :)
HELLO OUT THERE!
My name is Zortt1, I come from the American-MidWest, am 22 years old, and been a regular poster on TR for the past two years. I guess I've been come to be known for witty and insightful responses to topics in the TR comment sections and my main claim to fame is that I won a t-shirt for writing a fable in the Nerd Law contest. I do have twitter, facebook, and all that interconnecting information waves that the world revolves around with today. On Fridays, I play to do a write up on my favorite films. (I made a list of 50 that define who I am as a person and I will gladly share them with you to enjoy.) And with the new TV season upon us, I'll throw up some thoughts on the new episodes of my favorite television shows.
As a beginning and an intro to who I am and my interests, I have decided to put up a Top 5 list of random bits about myself. Stories are what I look for in my life, along with experiences. So here's 5 random bits about myself that you can chew on and ask about later in the comments.
TOP 5 RANDOM BITS ABOUT ZORTT:
5. Why Zortt?
The most common question. I've grown up with the internet, granted we didn't have it when it was pay by the hour and each page looked like one giant moving GIF file. We jumped on the bandwagon when it was 56K and I've been trolling about ever since. Zortt comes from "Zort!" one of the onomatopoeia expression Pinky says on Pinky and the Brain. I added an extra T to make it more internet friendly. Its completely original and as far as I know, if you do a search for it on google with the two "T"'s its probably me. Bonus fact about that: I can recall the first time I used the handle was renaming the main character in Final Fantasy 7. Subsequently, I renamed the next character Bobz. Did I finish playing Final Fantasy 7? Nope. Never finished one of those games and don't particularly care for them.
4. Interests? Got any?
This is like asking m e if you like food? or Music? Of course I do. I greatly enjoy playing xbox 360, reading and collecting comics, collecting action figures, working on my computer, and especially love going to the movies. I don't care what it costs, I'll go to the movies every weekend if I could afford it. I also enjoy reading Shakespeare, political discourses, and film analysis. However, I do shy away from fiction stories unless I know the story is really, really good. Story is key to anything for me. If it keeps me entertained with a good story, then I'm a happy camper.
I'm a big gamer, board and video. My current fascination is my third run through of Mass Effect 1 and 2. Bonus Fact: When I met Kevin Conroy, I totally had him sign the paper cover of my Arkham Asylum video game. Super, super nice guy.
3. Family? School?
I still live at home with my parents, but its ok. Since I'm an only child, I have free run of the basement in which I live. Don't think I'm like that guy from VH1 who had it all decked out and had a constant stream of ladies going down there. I'm kind of a recluse, due to complete lack of time to have a social life. The folks are good people. Would I like a change, yes of course, but I don't have the means to do it. Besides, who's going to take care of the dog?
I went off to college a few years ago and then lost my way. Funny thing was I was studying to work in politics, I went with the intention of becoming a human rubber stamp for the government and working in the bureaucracy. Alas, I felt disillusioned with the whole thing and then my grades suffered and they told me to get out. Now I'm training to be a web developer. Is that what I've always envisioned myself doing, nah, probably not. I always kind of wanted to be an actor, but I can make decent money being a developer so things will work out in the end I think.
2. Comics you say? Which are your favorites?
I have been a life long Batman fan. I grew up with the 89 film, then I found Adam West's Batman show, and then the Animated Series came and from then on it was all I could do. I lived and breathed Batman. I've collected all the Batman comics I can. Comics of note that I own is the individual copies of the 4 part series Death in the Family. The one where Robin is killed by the fans, I mean the Joker. That particular comic I own, has the hard to find now actual telephone number you call to vote to have Robin killed. I also collect The Flash, Avengers (all incarnations), Justice League, Green Arrow, The Question, Nova, Dr. Strange, and Captain America. I also collect anything that has a villain as the focus (current run of Action Comics is an example of this. If you haven't picked it up, its AMAZING). Another comic of note that I own is an original Jack Kirby drawn, Stan Lee written Fantastic Four #42. It has Black Bolt on the cover and is bright red. Rough shape, but still awesome find.
1. Any loves of your life?
As Columbus says in Zombieland, "Virginity, perfectly justifiable to speculate." I have dated a few women, but nothing that stuck or nothing special to write on. With the conversations about Nerd Love and nerdy girls, the most nerd girls around here (and keep in mind I live in a small town) are actually kind of disgusting or ones that I would like to pursue are dating a scumbag. I've had better luck venturing about into other towns and areas, but nothing has really worked. I have faith that it will happen sometime, but am I actively pursuing anything anymore? Not really. Just let it happen. It will.
So there's 5 nuggets about me that help shape who I am for you, I guess. I'll have a post about the first film in my top 50 on Friday.
Labels: Chicago, conventions, intro, topless robot, Zortt1





