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I don't know why, but shippers drive me up the wall. I dislike them with every core of my body. I hate that audiences of a book, musical, tv show, movie, cartoon, comic book, etc try to force two characters together because they feel that they belong, even when the actual writers of said characters chooses not to put them together. The only thing I hate more than shippers are Mary Sues.



I first ran into shippers when I frequented the X-Files chat room of Yahoo. I have never been on board with Mulder and Scully being involved in a relationship, because I don't agree with the formula that a woman and man who work together/hang out with each other/do something together automatically will be involved together. Unfortunately this is how a lot of shows/movies/etc seem to run. The characters are not together at first, but their relationship evolves from friendship to lovers. This doesn't always work in real life and it drives me bonkers. The majority of shippers are women, and I don't know if it says something about the female gender or what. I get the notion that a lot of women are like Marge Simpson; they feel that everything and everyone should be paired together. I know that there are always going to be exceptions to the rule (myself for example). Do women just want romance? Happy Endings? Am I just alone, when I enjoy a movie where the main guy and the main gal go their separate ways, or one dies, or they love someone else?

Today I would like to bitch about shippers in a novel-turned-multiple-franchise that I hold dear to my heart: The Phantom of the Opera.

I have been a 'phan' for quite some time. My parents had gone to see Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical in the early 90s in Toronto, where it was a permanent fixture of Canadian Broadway for over 20 years. My mom brought back the soundtrack and played it constantly, inspiring me to find out more about the production.

Lucky for me, our library had a copy of the novel and I took it out in grade 4. It wasn't really the easiest novel for me to get through with my preconceived notions of what should happen based on my knowledge of the musical. My favourite thing about this book though, was the wonderful artwork of Greg Hildebrandt. I actually found the book at an online used book store and bought it for sheer nostalgia (and pretty pictures!).

I finally saw the stage production in 1997, during one of its final years. Shortly, the musical left Toronto, although occasionally it comes back for a month performance. When the 2004 movie came out, I was ecstatic because it meant I could watch it whenever I wanted, provided it was a word for word reproduction of the musical. For the most part, it is. I did have a little problem with some of the casting though.

Gerard Butler is too hot to be the Phantom.

Way too hot.

It was like casting had no concept of the story. The Phantom was hideously ugly. So ugly his mother never kissed him or looked upon his face. So ugly that it haunted Christine. Nobody loved the Phantom because he was a distorted gargoyle and that is why he had to live away from society's gaze.

Every actor who had played The Phantom in the musical had 4 hours worth of make done.



Look at Butler here. Loathsome gargoyle indeed... He looks like he had some minor burns, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with some of that Parisian stage make up they would have used in the operas!



The problem with making the Phantom hot is that it gives the character too much sympathy. There will always be sympathy for the Phantom. He had a shitty life and he just wanted to love and be loved. However, the Phantom also was a complete jerk. He took away Christine's freedom and held her prisoner, wanted to force her into marriage, murdered several people in both the novel and musical and used terror to control the staff at the Opera House. He was a selfish man up until the end. Only when Christine showed him pity and compassion, did he change his mind and give her back her freedom, his one unselfish act.

But, many female fans of the movie and the musical felt that Christine should have stayed with the Phantom. Oodles of speculation, fan fiction, fan art and even novels have tried to come to this conclusion. They felt that Christine truly loved the Phantom but clearly they were never paying attention to what was in front of them. It is absolutely illogical. Christine never once proclaimed her love for the Phantom. She appreciated his voice, his ability to write operas and to teach her, but never once did she feel torn in a love triangle. She always wanted to be with Raoul and it was the Phantom that forced her into choosing, only because he threatened to kill him in the musical (in the book, he was going to blow up the entire opera house).

Yet, Phantom of Manhattan, Susan Kay's Phantom and Andrew Lloyd Webber's Love Never Dies, a sequel to POTO go against this logical and insist that not only did Christine love the Phantom, but she had sex with him and had his love child.

Wait, what?

Damn you shippers! Clearly you have convinced enough people that there is a market for your insipid Christine-Phantom fantasy! You deny the logic presented before you!

In order to make C and P work, you have to make Raoul a jerk. So what do they do? They turn the brave hero who was willing to sacrifice his life so that Christine wouldn't be stuck marrying the Phantom and living in the bowels of the Opera House into a gambling drunk. A gambling drunk that Christine had to have cheated on to have her 10 year old son. In Kay's novel, Christine gives birth to a premature child who is actually full term, so Raoul realizes that the child is not his. In Love Never Dies, Christine goes and has sex with the Phantom the night before her wedding. Because this totally fits the character of Christine. Christine, who pledged her love to Raoul, who was willing to give up her freedom to save his life, who wanted him to steal her away so she wouldn't be captive of the Phantom any longer, who was frightened of the Phantom's soulless face, went out of her way to have sex with the Phantom before getting married to Raoul.

/brain explode.


Anyways.

My best friend is a shipper, and I tolerate it. But ugh, it drives me up the wall! I apologize to any other readers if you are shippers, but I have to ask: Why doesn't the audience just accept the writer's choices (I'm looking at you, Zutara shippers!)?

Hey there folks

Around this time, I spend time youtubing old Christmas specials that my mom taped off the tv for me. Many times I have recounted these stories to my friends, who look at me cockeyed when I tell them my favourite Santa movie is the one where 'he is raised in a forest by wood nymphs'.

A lot of holiday specials I really enjoy were Rankin-Bass. Rankin-Bass really had it going on in my childhood. Not only did they produce The Last Unicorn, The Flight of Dragons (a often passed over fantasy flick I plan on writing about in the new year), The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings cartoon, they were heavily involved in the holidays. Not just Christmas mind you, as they also produced one of my favourite Easter cartoons too about a stuffed bunny that became the Easter Rabbit (of course, tying in with their Christmas theme, the stuffed bunny was given as a Christmas present from Santa).

Ranking-Bass made the most well known of the holiday specials. I am sure you have all seen:
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Frost the Snowman

But do you remember these?



Puppet based
The Year Without Santa Claus
One year, Santa is sick with a cold and decides to cancel Christmas because he believes that the children don't care anymore. Mrs. Claus sends two elves, Jingle and Jangle, to a southern US town where it never snows to find out why people have stopped caring about Christmas. This movie is famous for its Miser Brothers, two sons of Mother Nature. Most people were reacquainted with this movie when Mister Freeze forces his henchmen to sing the Snow Miser's song in Batman & Robin. Not exactly one of my favourite specials but it is alright.


Rudolph's Shiny New Year
After Christmas, Father Time sends for Rudolph's help to find the missing new year baby who ahs run off because everyone laughs at his unusually large ears. With a clock soldier and a camel with a clock in its hump named Quarter After Five, Rudolph travels to many different islands looking for Happy, the baby new year (oh the puns kill me). Each island belongs to a Year after he retires. My personal favourite is the island belonging to OM (short for One Million BC) who yes, lives on an island of dinosaurs and sings a delightfully happy song about "raining sunshine" which my mom always started sisnging whenever it started raining with the sun out. The movie is a little dopey but it was one of my favourites. Rudolph was always a personal hero of mine. My mom's theme for Christmas decorations for me was reindeer, specifically Rudolph. When I was in daycare (which was at a nursing home), we had to sing a little Christmas concert for the old folks. I think I was about 4 at the time, and I had terrible stage freight. When we started singing Rudolph, I burst into tears and all the daycare supervisors started pointing at me, indicating that I was "Rudolph". My mom used that reasoning to associate me with the character I guess haha. My brother loved snowmen, so he got a lot of Frosty stuff. Anyways - as I was saying, Shiny New Year was one of my favourites because it's slightly weird and not many people remember it.


The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
A hands down favourite Santa movie of mine. It starts out with the council of Immortals, who must decide that night whether they will grant Santa Claus the mantle of Immortality. This was a big deal for them, as no mortal had ever been given immortality. The Great Ak, the master woodsman who had a hand in the raising of Santa Claus, tells of his life among the forests, raised by a woodland nymph and a lioness. The baby, Claus, is sent out to live with mortals once he becomes a young man. He is joined by a friend, a sound imp who teaches him all languages of man and beast. He becomes well known for making toys and acts of kindness. Ther eis a lot more to this movie and I do not want to give it away at all! Let's just say it was described as a very dark Christmas movie. The best part is it's a novel of the same name by L Frank Baum - the man who wrote the Oz series. This movie is hard to find because it is not on DVD. Apparently it is now, but I question the quality haha. They tried to do a cartoon remake of the story, without the songs and it was terrible.. terrible!!


The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold
I gotta say, this one is pretty bad. It's like they were trying to make a St Patrick's Day Special but decided that they had to throw Christmas in there somewhere. There is nothing Christmasy about this at all. A Banshee needs to have gold given to her before Christmas or she turns into tears. That's all there is about Christmas in this one. View at your own risk.


Nestor The Long Eared Christmas Donkey
A donkey with unusually long ears is made fun of (running theme for these movies) but finds his purpose as the donkey that carries Mary to Bethlehem. This movie used to make me cry, but it really is a tamer version of Disney's Small One (youtube that one if you want to have a misty-eyed night).



Oh hell, Here's Small One too


Frosty and Rudolph's Christmas in July
I haven't seen this one for awhile, but Frosty and Rudolph help a cowgirl (yeah...) have a Christmas circus/rodeo thing in July. You need to have seen Frosty's Winter Wonderland for the story of his wife in this clip.



Little Drummer Boy
A Drumemr Boy and his band of animals in another sad movie. Drummer Boy goes to the Wise Kings to heal his dying sheep. I haven't seen this one for awhile either.



Cartoons
I guess at one point they got tired of using puppets and claymation and did the animation thing. Which was fine by me!

Frosty's Winter Wonderland
The following winter, the kids miss Frosty. As soon as it is winter time again, he comes back and enjoys playing with them. But at night when the kids go home, Frosty is left alone in the snow. The kids decide to make him a wife. Jack Frost, jealous of Frosty's popualrity, tries to thrwart all their plans. Short and goofy, but Paul Frees is the king of voices as usual. Apparently this one still gets shown on ABC during the 25 days of Christmas.



The Stingiest Man in Town
My absolute favourite version of A Christmas Carol (Muppet's Christmas Carol is a close second. A remake of a live action musical done on the Alcoa Hour. This one has so many great voice actors in it (Tom Bosely, Walker Matthau) and I find the songs really catchy. It's hard to find because I guess a lot of stations don't have the rights to it. The whole thing is uploaded on Youtube and you CAN get it on DVD - it's on a Christmas Classics collection. They won't let me embed this one, so here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ykm-nZ6bIoI

Bonus!!

I don't know where this one came from, and it is strange ... I do remember the intro vividly. I don't remember what else happens in this Christmas Special because I can't get myself to part 3.
Candy Claus

Hello all

I'd like to let you know that I am not dead, and I've been trying to think about this review for a long time. I have not been able to think of a lengthy review for it, because it's hard to review a story without giving it away. My main idea was to focus on the three different mediums the story was presented, and how each one enhances or takes away from the story.

I do not wish to spoil the story because this is one of my favourites, and one I hope most people would pick up at one point in their lives.

So without further delay:



The Last Uncorn: Can a story be told in different mediums?

As some may recall, I did a review on the Watchmen movie exploring this same topic. I felt that despite the movie not capturing the entire aspect of the Watchmen comic, it did a pretty good job delaying with the set backs of certain limitations of a form.

A movie adaptation will never be perfect. Some have come close, but there is too much of a gap between a written story and a visual one. Written stories rely too much on provoking one's imagination through descriptive words and additional details to move the story along, while a movie can just show you what it is trying to portray. A book can be as many pages as the author wants. Movies are forced to stay in specific time restraints, or be pushed into a series of movies to tell the whole story. A book allows the reader to picture what they think certain things look like, while a movie keeps the image the same for everyone.

Despite these limitations, movie adaptations can be successful. I actually grew up watching The Last Unicorn movie before I read the book. I didn't even know it was a book until I was in high school. But when I read the book, I realized that the movie version did not stray from its original concept. Sure, there were some certain parts of the book that were cut out, but their omission did not seem to affect the overall story. I am certain that this was probably because the author of the book, Peter S Beagle was the one that wrote the screenplay for the movie. While he may have removed a chunk of backstory on certain characters, anyone who compares the book to the movie may be able to agree that some of it is just not that necessary to get the same messages and themes across.

There is one form of story telling however, that is a marriage of words and pictures. A comic.

IDW publishing announced that it would publish a series on The Last Unicorn. A 6 comic series throughout 2010 that was approved by Peter S Beagle once again. In fact, he himself adapted the story for a comic.

Much like movies, a comic can be limited as well. I suppose the publishing company has the last say on how many issues you may have and how many pages in each one. As an owner of a couple of trade series, it seems a little daft that IDW would force an author to telling a story in only a limited number of issues and pages. Beagle himself announced in the summer that in order for them to properly tell the story, they would need additional pages in the 5th and 6th issue in the series. IDW told them it was a cost issue, and Beagle himself (and I think some others) paid out of pocket to get these additional pages.

With the first 3 issues, I was quite excited. I did have a slight issue with the art because I was hoping that the artist would have used her own style for some of the characters. Most of them looked exactly like their cartoon movie counterparts. A comic is a great way to get anew persepctive, but I felt that by using the same image of the unicorn as the 1982 film just reinforces that the cartoony unicorn is the image the author himself finds to be the most accurate, which I have a hard time believing.

Another thing I did notice with the comic was it was very slow at story telling. When the comic series is only 6 issues long, and you haven't even reached the middle of your story yet by the end of issue #3, you risk cutting some poignant parts of the story. I was delighted that some of the book that was not able to make it into the movie worked its way into the comic though they might be slightly minor.

I felt that the last two issues were really lacking and I was not keen on their design. In issue #5, the artist decided to label a spread with a character's name. It just seemed so out of place, especially since the reader had already been acquainted with the characters. I also felt that this issue's layout was just so mumbled compared to the previous issues. Issue #5 is also the first time we meet the main antagonist. In both the book and movie, he speaks deeply about the reason why he has captured all the unicorns in the world for himself. The comic ignores this outright, which is a shame since it is with that speech he becomes a sympathetic character.

As if issue #5 wasn't bad enough, the last issue really dropped the ball. Much like the main antagonist, the Unicorn herself exits the story with a relfection of her quest that sets her apart from the rest of the unicorns because of the life changing situation she had encountered. Instead, in the comic, she leaves the story quite quickly. Her reflection is vague and hurried, like the entire quest wasn't a big deal. It just seemed so unfitting and I was quite disappointed.

The art was okay. As I mentioned, a lot of the characters were very much lifted from movie itself. I did like how the issues started very bright, then increasingly got darker and more grey until the end of the last issue., using the contrast to reflect the moods of the story.

Overall, I thought that a comic version of the story could have been utilized a better way than it was. There was a chance for the comic to bring in what the movie had missed, but also offer visual stimulation. It started off well, but petered out in the end. I am not sure if this was a decision made by the author, or there were too many restrictions placed upon him. I think if he was allowed to do an eight issue series instead of a 6th, it may have worked better in his favor. At the end of the day, I will likely buy the trade when it comes out because I have a collection of TLU items and I am a weird collector in that way. I do hope that the comic book version of the story has encouraged others to read the book (now in its 40th year). At the end of the day, I guess the book will always be better.

Now for some pictures from the comic!

So as some of you know, I decided to make a Silk Spectre 1 costume for Hallowe'en this year. I like Sally Jupiter's costume better than Laurie's because, well, not brave enough to wear vinyl. I think her costume in the comic is a little meh (the both of them) but the pin-up styled SS1 from the movie was something I could pull off.

I want to say a couple things about the costume;

First off, I know it's not exact. I'm not much of a sewer, nor did I feel like making a lot of the costume from scratch. I wanted to use what I had here at home, or would be minimal cost. I was inspired to make this costume in the first place based on the bright yellow sik dress my mom had laying around.

I know the hair isn't the greatest. Neither my friend or I are good with styling hair, but after 2 hours of fussing with it, we decided it was good enough.

I made this costume out of very simple things:
A silk yellow dress
Black ribbon
Black gloves
Fishnet tights
A black wide belt
Tall black boots

As I said, it's not 100% accurate, but I was recognizable by the crowd attending the party. After the party, I heard that another person, who became sick just before the aprty, was planning as coming as Sally Jupiter as well, but she was going to buy her costume online. Kind of glad she didn't, because I was hoping to be original haha.

Pictures after the jump!
















Just before the aprty, with pristine make up. I chose to wear fake eyelashes and they were murder!













The full getup. According to picture stills from the movie and the comic, she only wore one glove. Not sure why and probably will never know!










My friend Rob (who looks dumb in this picture because I think he was talking haha) and I won best costumes because of the work we put into them. He sewed the jedi robes out a bed sheet and made the tunic himself! We won those nifty glasses.













Another glam shot.













A close up of the hair to show the victory rolls. They didn't lift as high as I wanted them too, but oh well! Next time I guess!










The side of hairdo.













These were taken at the end of the night. At the end, we decided to just curl the ends and be done with it!

Overall, I was happy with the reaction I got with this costume. It was nice to be recognized for my hard work, since a lot of the other costumes were store bought. There were two french maids at the party, bleagh.

Hey guys

I feel like a jerk because I have been a little neglectful as part of the Super Friends. I'm sure you are all forgiving with how things catch up to you but just like Zortt, I feel like some explanation is deserved!

- I am a MMORPG jerkface. I love them because I get so bored working from home, and I don't go out much because I live in the country. I used to play FFXI, WoW and Aion but quit when all my friends stopped playing and I was tired of soloing like an idiot. My best friend asked me if I wanted to play again, and I decide to give it a whirl again. So... sadly that has been occupying most of my evenings.

- Work is being a pain in the ass. Remember how I told you guys I was collecting all those stupid e-mail addresses for a newsletter campaign? Well now I had to deal with figuring out how to mail merge them, send them out, and then go through every single friggin e-mail to find out which ones went through, which ones didn't, and why they didn't go through. My boss has been riding my ass on this one, and it's frustrating, especially when I'm not even the one sending out the newsletter. At this point it is a waiting game, but I have to make myself look busy during the day when he's around. I've pretty much only visited Topless Robot out of all the websites I used to visit daily.

- The biggest horse show of the year is almost here. We're only taking one pony but because of my mom's insane work schedule, it's up to me to make sure she gets pampered and taken care of like crazy. I've already ahd the farrier out twice to look at her feet, we shipped her two hours away and waited around while she got clipped out, and on top of everything else I do around here chore wise, she gets groomed daily, and has ointments applied to her like crazy. I'm actually supposed to be bathing her 2-3 times a week as well but the weather has been less than inviting. I will probably get on it soon. There have been other things I've been doing towards this show, and it seems like it's taking forever to get here (it's November 12th haha).

- I haven't really been inspired to write anything post wise. Lame, I know. I am thinking about doing a review of a six issue comic series but it is only at issue #4. That probably won't be happening until December, sadly.

- Lastly, HALLOWE'EN! I finally got a party invite, so I've been mucking around with my hair to figure out how exactly I am going to pull it off. Luckily my best friend is doing a trade off with me - I'll do her outrageous Pamela Anderson make up (She's going as knocked up Pam and her boyfriend is going as Kid Rock) in exchange for her to coat my head in hair spray and figure out bumper bangs and victory rolls. I do promise pictures from this, though I don't know if I will be as awesome as Captain Cold there.

So yes, I am still alive, and hopefully popping in more often. Like I said, I feel like a jerk for just kind of vanishing like that after Thanksgiving.

To make it up to you guys, here's a picture from 2004 (I think), of my friend and I going out for the Trent Anthropology Society's screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

(blowing into conch shell)



SUPERFRIENDS! ASSEMBLE!


Hmm...not that simple, huh?


This article is directed at a very specific group of people--a collection of like-minded souls who found my little blog and made it their virtual second home. They came not only to shoot the shit and occasionally comment on whatever nonsense I happen to post, they started to contribute, sharing their unique perspectives and talents with my dear readers. They became almost a family.


And then...They disappeared.

Where did they go?





Now for some of you, I know the answer:

Colleen is still here, we just spent 7 hours straight chatting. She's been here almost every day, and we love our conversations, but we greatly miss the rest of the family.

Robbie, along with being absurdly busy, has been without Internet for the past few weeks--completely understandable.

Myriam and Abraxas are busy as hell with school--Ok.

Joltess recently touched base--she's been occupied with her horses and Canadian Thanksgiving. That's cool. She should be back if we don't lose her to World of Warcraft.




Differences in time zones make it diffficult for many of the Superfriends to communicate at the same time, I know:

I've no idea where our Imperial Ambassador, George, is hiding himself.

FadR has apparently FadEd into oblivion.

I've seen Fabi on the TR boards, but she hasn't graced us with her presence in some time.

I really hope my theory that Aussie Superfriend Doctragon was eaten alive by dingoes is false. You've got the best taste in music of anyone I've met in years--we need you!(you're also kinda cute, I'm not sure why that's important--but there it is)

New Superfriend, but longtime fellow Topless Roboteer Rickicker finally caved in to my repeated begging and showed up at SOHB--and then disappeared. WTF?




And Zorrt1! Where the hell are you? You live like two hours from me!



Look, I know you guys have jobs and school and lives outside of the online world. I'm not trying to get on your cases here. My goal is not to pester or guilt-trip anyone into coming back to the fold.



I just want you all to know: Colleen and I love you and miss you! <3 As much fun as the two of us have chatting, we'd rather have you folks with us when we're having a 7 hour bull session--there's only so much two people can do!


Come back as soon as it's convenient for you:

You guys will always have a home at SOHB. We're not going anywhere.


I'll let Joey Ramone speak for us from the beyond...




See you soon.


The Family Scoot

Hey guys, this isn't a nerdy post what so ever, but I just wanted to show off what I do over the summer, and why I haven't been that active this weekend.



The first three are from August 1st weekend, and the last two photos are from this weekend. I don't take very well riding pictures, but these were the best that we took.

I recieved my TR shirt today. Hurray! As per agreed, here's moi in my shirt.


It was a little wrinkly when it came, but whatever. It is very uh, form fitting. A little tight across the chest, and I think maybe I should have gone two sizes up instead of one (especially if I had known it was a youth cut) but hey, it fits regardless. I love the length! The colour looks a lot better irl than in a photo I've noticed.

I can't wait to wear it out to my geek socials!

While I was Youtubing, I noticed that I have a quite a few songs on my list that I would call nerdy. They are not parodies, or songs about nerds. They're just, well, nerdy! I do love songs about nerds, and nerdy parodies, but I feel these songs rather stand out on their own.

This isn't to say these are the only nerdy songs out there, since I am sure there's quite a few! Here's just a couple that I enjoy. Feel free to link up nerdy songs you like too!

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon
An internet classic that everyone has probably watched by now, but it really is excellent. The NSFW parody is even better, if you can stomach it.


Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathon Coulton
Coulton has had a few popular nerd songs like "Still Alive" and "Code Monkey" but my favourite is Skullcrusher Mountain, a love ballard by an evil genius. I am in love with this song. A friend sent it to me a few months ago. He knew I'd love it because of the lyrics about a pony gorilla. I would marry the man who sang this to me. I also love the artwork/storyline in this video. I'd let Skull Dude kidnap me.



Pain!
A strange but mesmerizing Star Trek Remix that I constantly get stuck in my head.


Shatner of the Mount
An addicting song about Captain Kirk's love for a mountain.


The Picard Song
Another addicting song about a Starfleet Captain. MAKE IT SO!



Geeks In love by Lemon Demon
A cute and sweet video about geeks in love. They should all wish to be geeks in love.


Up, Up, Down, Down by Krispy Krackle
Another geek love song... with a twist. Very catchy.


David Duchovny, Why Won't You Love Me? By Bree Sharp
This song pretty much covers how I felt when I was 13, and probably the same way many females, young and old, felt when they were watching David Duchovny as Fox Mulder on X-Files. Oh, to be Scully. OH to get rid of Scully so Mulder would be yours. But why won't he love me? There isn't a good quality video for this anywhere, so apologies. This was actually made for Duchovny by the X-Files crew.


Anyways, there's likely more but that's it from me, for now. Do you like? What would you add? I could always use more nerdy songs!

The Joltess

Ahoy me Beauties and Scurvy Rats! This is ye good Old Captain of the good ship Cyborg Pony speaking.

Bueno,


Sometime back in the mists of prehistory, Scoot had himself an idea: Since I so enjoy making custom Divas for Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 on the PS3, I offered my readers the opportunity to take advantage of my "skills". It was to be a new feature I called "Divolve Me!" where readers would send me pics and/ or specifications for their own Divas, and I would craft them and post pictures and videos.

Unfortunately, that was back when SOHB got less hits than most Amish websites.

However, now that I've got my trusty Superfriends I've a new opportunity to indulge my psychoses, and believe it or not--I got myself a couple takers!

So now the world gets to see my first completed Diva based on an actual human being!

Let's start at the beginning:

This here is SOHB contributor The Joltess--ain't she lurvley?


Each Diva can have up to four distinct costumes. For starters, she asked for an "Archaeologist".

Here's what I came up with:




Here's a closer look:



Whaddya think? Did I capture her?

Joltess posts on Topless Robot under the name "The Pirate Star", so it wasn't all that surprising when she included a pirate on her costume list. Take a look:


Let's try another angle:




For costume #3: Joltess decided to go Egyptian:




And turn:



Finally, Joltess gave no instructions for her 4th outfit--so I went out on a limb and made her a superhero. I figured Joltess sounds comic-bookish to begin with, and honestly--how much of a stretch is it to assume that this person:


just might appreciate a superhero costume?

EVILDOERS BEWARE!

So that's what we got for pics--Scoot do good?


Unfortunately, we've only got one video. I recorded several videos of The Joltess boldly making her way to the ring--but my roommate's crap computer won't support asf files. Fuck.

Fear not, I still have a hand-edited and assembled match highlight video of the type I commonly download to Youtube. It features Joltess in her Egyptian garb whaling the living piss out of Trish Stratus, observe:





So, there you have it. Dear Colleen is next on the list--I'll try not to take as long with hers.


Oh, before I go--a few updates. As is obvious, Firefly trounced it's competitors for the title of Most Attractive Sci-Fi/Fantasy Cast. Out of 19 votes, Firefly received 13 while BSG, Andromeda, and Smallville each ended up with 2. I honestly thought Firefly and BSG would have been almost neck and neck--shows what I know. I'll have a new poll up tomorrow.

SOHB pages The Meditation Chamber, The Serenity Parlor, and the Women's Studies Annex have all been added to, so take a gander and broaden your mind.

So far, only 3 readers have shared pics of themselves with their beloved tokens of Nerdity. Time to step up your game, people! Send your pics to scooteratreides@gmail.com



Dr. Everett Scoot