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Am I the only one who's really enjoying Death of the New Gods? I'm finding it to be an incredibly fun mystery/superhero tale. There's all sorts to like about. Foremost among them the fact that the New Gods are dying.

Now, I've said before that I like the fact that the New Gods are getting axed. That remains as true today as it did in days of yore. But Death of the New Gods is so much more than just gods being killed left and right. As I said, it's a grand mystery.

The mystery isn't just who's killing the New Gods (though Superman seems to believe he knows). It's also about the why and the how. Why has this killer been gifted with powers beyond what he normally possesses? And why is he using them the way he is? Those are the big mysteries.

And there's not just mystery... There's also suspense. When I was reading issue #4 I kept holding my breath, waiting to see who was going to be offed on the next page. Usually I don't feel that way reading comics. Either because the deaths seem so shallow -- or because nobody dies at all.

But for some reason Starlin has created a story where each death -- even if it's of an insignificant character that nobody knows -- feels important. And that's quite an accomplishment.

So I look forward to seeing this series continue. Seeing the Gods drop left and right as Superman -- the story's resident Sherlock Holmes (with x-ray vision!) tries to ferret out the answers.

The game is afoot.

Tonight's Thursday Night Thinking is courtesy Jack of Fables -- the gift that keeps on thinking!

I've been going over and over through my brain tonight, desperately trying to come up with something to post about.

I have failed.

In that spirit, please accept this image of Miss Martian doing what she does best. Namely, looking cute.

Enjoy your Boxing Day!

I do not like this "Starman" who has joined the Justice Society of America. It is not the fact that he's a superhero. And it's not the fact his mealtime antics make me physically ill (though they do). No, I despise this Starman because he gives the mentally ill a bad name.

As I have both a medical degree and personal experience with mental illness, I believe I am uniquely qualified to address this topic. And allow me to make the following statement: all those "crazy," "wacky" things Starman does? He doesn't do them because he's schizophrenic. He does them because he's an idiot

Oh how the fool grates upon me! His constant yammering. The spitting. His constant antics are an embarrassment. And I can assure you that they have nothing to do with his illness. If he's even sick at all.

Yes, that's right. I'm calling you out, Starman. I think you're faking it -- I think you're doing it all just for the attention. Now, I know my pathetic nephew Damage has legitimate problems (thanks in part to my despicable brother). He is a genuinely troubled young man. You, Starman? You just want people to look at you.

So I hear tell they're making a Justice League of America movie. I'll believe that when I see it on screen and not a moment before. Of course, it could be happening. I'll admit I know nothing at all about it. I'm one of those people who avoids reading about movies and watching trailers. I avoid them like the plague. I hate being spoiled.

So, forgive me if my idle speculation is completely moot. I was just thinking about who the villain should be in this hypothetical JLA movie. I know what I would do if I was making a Justice League movie. It's pretty elemental, after all.

See, I'd start with a bunch of lesser supervillains organized into some sort of "Injustice Gang." Guys like Captain Cold, Metallo, and Doctor Polaris (who is in no way a "lesser" supervillain). There'd be some throwdowns, a few cool scenes involving the various heroes facing off against their respective adversaries. And then, for the big finale, it gets revealed that there's one big thing driving it all: STARRO!

Who would be better for a big screen over-the-top JLA film? A giant, super-intelligent, space-faring, mind-controlling alien starfish! Just try and tell me that the prospect of Starro the Conqueror tearing it up in IMAX doesn't make you weak in the knees. It would be glorious

There's an interview with Dan DiDio over at Newsarama. Mr. DiDio's got a lot to say about Countdown, Final Crisis, and the future of the DC Universe.

But me being an obsessive follower of the old and the new, I was immediately drawn to this exchange:

DD: [laughs] Who else? Libra is a good one.

NRAMA: ...

The Newsarama interviewer was suitably unimpressed. I, on the the other hand, was immediately smitten. Especially after getting a look at this mysterious "Libra:"

Hooded and gloved? Check. Masked visage? Check. Crazy theme? Double check. Literally.

Now, I'm already on the Libra bandwagon thanks to the general air of mysteriousness and the fact that I was born between September 23 and October 22. So I don't need to know anything else. But perhaps the rest of you ache with curiosity. If you lack my mind-boggling knowledge of the DC Universe I will reveal this to you: "Libra" is not a new character.

Once upon a time a guy calling himself "Libra" formed an "Injustice Gang" composed of the saddest villains this side of Gotham City. It was all a ruse, of course. When the villains inevitably failed Libra took the opportunity to steal half of the JLA's powers. Then he overreached (as all good villains do) and was sort of destroyed. It happens.

There's no way of knowing if this new Libra has any connection to the old one. I'm betting he will -- but only slightly. My guess is that once again DC is dusting off an old name and sliding someone new into it. And if the result is as impressive as that costume, It'll all balance out.

...

Sorry.

This post is not about comics. It has nothing to do with comics. This post is about me.

I don't reveal much about myself here on the blog. I prefer to encourage an air of mystery -- much like the Phantom Stranger. But I'm sure that by now you've all gleaned that I am an English teacher who works in Japan. Before too much longer, that will all change.

Today was the due date for my "re-contracting intention form." I faxed it to my bosses this morning. And I told that that I will not be staying in Japan for a fourth year. Which means in about six months I'll be returning to the United States. Probably for good.

I don't know what I'll be doing there. I know I'll visit a comic shop. And spend some time reacquainting myself with friends and family. But beyond that, I have no idea. In truth, it's a little scary. I'm trading a comfortable job I enjoy for a future that could be anything. But it's time for me to move on.

I've been doing this blog for about two years now. That entire time I've been in Japan. In all honesty, it's been hard writing about American comics in Japan. No local comic book shop gossip. No quarter bins to file through. Which is why you shouldn't be worried that I'll stop. No, I'll keep this going until I die or somebody destroys Earth-Prime.

But I just thought I'd get it out there, the fact that I'm moving into the Great Unknown. But it's not that scary. Hell, I may see some of you there...

Tired of all the jibber jabber? Then sit for a spell and do some thinking. Thursday Night Thinking!

All is possible Kent Nelson... As long as you think it so!

I think it's safe to talk about Green Lantern #25 and the aftermath of the Sinestro Corps War. But just in case you've been living under a rock and haven't read it, well... Spoilers ahoy.

Now, I've never been a big fan of Hal Jordan. I think that's been abundantly clear over the past two years. I've made numerous posts denigrating his intelligence and personal grooming habits. Hell, one of my co-bloggers was a member of Hal's rogue's gallery.

But one thing I have always enjoyed is the work of Geoff Johns. Sure, sometimes his stuff is derivative. And a little too enamored with itself. But over all, he manages to put out entertaining superhero stories month after month that genuinely surprise me. And that's what I'm looking for in my comics.

So it should come as no surprise that despite the fact that Green Lantern is largely about Hal Jordan, I enjoyed the heck out of the Sinestro Corps War. It was huge, over the top, and full of pretty pictures.

And dear God, the villains. So many, and so many good ones. Has Sinestro ever seemed as evil as he does now? By giving Hal better villains, Geoff Johns has made him a better superhero.

It's not only that, however. Even though Hal Jordan is still a pompous, preening ass, Geoff Johns has managed to humanize him. He's made me if not like Hal, then at least respect him. And that's better than most of the real-life Hal Jordan's get (and I've know more than my fair share).

What I'm saying is that somehow Geoff Johns has managed to take one of my least favorite characters and make me excited about reading his adventures every month. I want to find out what happens to Hal Jordan. And that's no small feat.

I am troubled by this "Lord" Havok and his "Extremists." Specifically, I am concerned about the man who calls himself "Doctor" Diehard.

Am I to understand that this helmet-wearing charlatan possesses magnetism-related superpowers? That he dares to try to usurp Polaris's rightful position as the multi-verse's preeminent Maestro of Magnetism?

What sort of man is this "Lord" Havok that he allows pale imitations such as Diehard to serve with him? If Havok seeks true magnetic might he could have called me. I am available. I've placed full-page ads in The Daily Planet and The Gotham Gazette. All should now be aware that my villainous mastery of magnetism is only a phone call away.

And yet, I find no takers. Do Havok and his ilk fear me? Surely that is the only explanation. They tremble at the thought of serving with Polaris. For they know that if they stand alongside me, all that they are -- their powers, their intelligence, their virility -- will pale in comparison to the glory of Doctor Polaris.

Know this: I pity the insecurities of these inadequate fools. And Polaris does not pity often. So I suggest they take me upon my offer. Before it is rescinded...

Well, it seems that Geoff Johns is retelling Hal Jordan's origin. This'll be what, like the fourth time?

That being said, it's probably not a bad idea. As much as I think Hal Jordan is a pompous jackass, I don't think he's the kind of guy to drive drunk. Sure, he's the kind of guy who drives without his seatbelt, but certainly not drunk.

That attempted retcon of Hal Jordan's origin always felt off to me. It was like they were trying to hard to give the man faults. And it's not like they needed to give him extra faults in the first place. The man is vain, clumsy, and a total moron. Aren't those enough flaws for one man?

I imagine Geoff Johns will be further retconning Abin Sur and the "Blackest Knight" prophecy while at the same time adding to the Air Force element of Hal Jordan's backstory.

I'm finding myself strangely intrigued by the possibilities. Don't tell the Doctor.

A while back I delved into etymology and looked at the significance of Forerunner as a "Harbinger."

We've seen a lot of Forerunner since then. And it's still not clear what her role in the greater scheme of things is. Since her appearance she's traveled the multiverse, had her world destroyed, and been left adrift in space by Monarch.

But I'm not here to talk about Forerunner. Another Harbinger has appeared. Behold, the preview for Countdown #19:

The speaker is undoubtedly the Godkiller -- slayer of the Fourth World. Here, he (or she) self identifies as a "Harbinger."

I doubt this is an accident. Nothing happening in Countdown is an accident. We can only assume that we are meant to see the Godkiller as another Harbinger.

Which means we've got two -- Forerunner and the Godkiller. And seeing as we're building to a Final Crisis, I wouldn't be surprised if a few more showed up down the line...

Greetings, friends. Welcome to Title Undetermined's Second Annual Blogoversary Spectacular! Not only is this the blog's two year birthday, it's also the 450th post. I can't believe I've kept this up for so long.

I lieu of actual content, I'd like to direct you to some of my favorite posts from the past. Classic Title Undetermined, if you will. I hope y'all enjoy reading this blog as much as we enjoy writing it.

Here's to another year!

Wild Dog Week!

This is... Wild Dog Week!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 2!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 3!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 4!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 5!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 6!
This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 7!

Azrael's Job Hunt:

Employment
Job Hunt: Week 1, Day 1
Job Hunt: Week 1, Day 5
Job Hunt: Week 2, Day 4
Job Hunt: Week 4, Day 1
Comics Burn

The Angry Missives of Doctor Polaris:

I'm Going to Get You
Prepare For My Mighty Sarcasm
I Cannot Abide the Prattling of Fools
I Shall Have My Revenge
I Shall Not Be Denied
The Media

Bonus! Doctor Polaris' firsthand account of his torrid affair with the Emerald Empress!

31st Century Nights

As always: Thursday Night Thinking!

Schemers, plotters, and... Angsters?

Methinks Deadman needs a vacation...

Here's a topic I haven't talked about in a long time: Cassandra Cain.

She showed up in Batman and the Outsiders #2, you know. In costume as Batgirl. It was a very "old school" Cassandra kind of scene, what with the one-liner and the unnecessary violence.

I listened to an interview with Chuck Dixon a while ago. He talked about putting Batgirl on the team. It was an editorial decision, it seems. And that makes me very leery. I mean, the last few "editorial decisions" regarding Cassandra Cain taught her Navajo and had her toting a sniper rifle. Not what I'm looking for.

But despite that, I'm optimistic. From what I heard in the interview, Mr. Dixon seems to get Cassandra's character. He wrote a number of issues of her original series and has a pretty good idea of how she's supposed to work. So here's hoping things turn out all right.

I'm actually more interested in the issue of Detective that Mr. Dixon mentions in the interview. He said that he'd written a Detective fill-in that shows how Batman is able to come to trust Cassandra again. That's going to take some hoop-jumping...

A question I never get asked is "why don't you ever talk about manga? You live in Japan." I wonder why I never get asked that question...

Regardless, I asked myself the question today on that long, mind-numbing bus ride that I take every day to work. So I think I deserve an answer. Here goes:

I just don't like manga.

Not the answering you were expecting, I take it? After all, how can someone who lives in Japan and really likes Japanese things not like manga? I mean, I like anime. And some of my favorite anime is based off of manga. How exactly does that work?

It's actually pretty simple when you get down to it. I'm a student of superheroics. I live and breathe superhero comics. With the occasional exception (such as Fables) that's all I read. There are almost no "proper" superhero comics under the manga umbrella.

There are concepts I like in manga, though. Such as giant robots. I'm nuts for mecha. But here's the thing: most Japanese mecha tales start in animation and then move to comics. Because giant robot fighting is highly conducive to bright, colorful motion.

All the anime I enjoy is stuff that includes a lot of action. It's all movement and motion that works beautifully animated. And when you compare an anime like that to its black and white static counterpart, well... It pales in comparison.

So now you're wondering how I can read Western comics. Because they don't move either. Which is true. But there is something about the Western style that seems to lend more motion -- more life -- to the artwork. I know many would disagree, but I feel most manga lacks that liveliness.

So there you have it, folks. It's a bit incoherent, I know. But that's the reason why I tend to steer clear of manga. Sure, I read it to keep my Japanese on the up and up. But when I want to be entertained?

Nothing compares to a home-cooked meal...

To Monarch:

If you're reading this, I would like to offer you my services. As the Batman of Earth-8, I feel that I can be of great use to you in your attempts to conquer the Multiverse.

I know that you probably don't think much of me. But I have many admirable qualities! I'm very good at taking orders from self-proclaimed messiahs. And I can see that you certainly fit that bill. I'm also very good at setting things on fire. Surely you have things that need to be set on fire...

If you do decide to take me on, can you put me somewhere where I don't have to kill anybody? I don't do that anymore. I'd be happy to beat anybody you'd like to a bloody pulp. Just no killing.

Please. I really need the work.

Though I know very little about Marvel's recent Spider-Man event "One More Day" beyond hearsay and conjecture, what I have heard does little to dissuade me from my opinion that Peter Parker is a complete and utter fool.

Allow me to elucidate further for those of you who like to pretend you are Wolverine and as such are unable to grasp the obvious. Let us consider the following:

• Noted fool Peter Parker has an incredibly hot wife.
• Noted fool Peter Parker has an elderly, decrepit, drain-on-society of an aunt.

Now imagine that you are Peter Parker. You are told you must choose between a smoking redhead with whom you can have sex or a wretched crone whom you must feed with a spoon. A man of my esteemed brilliance needs no time at all to calculate the variables involved. As such, I take the readhead, "tiger."

But what occurs when this choice is given to foolish Peter Parker? Does he allow an elderly woman -- who I should note has lived a full and productive life -- die? Or does he give up his own personal happiness -- and the happiness of his hot wife -- so that a retired crone can live a few extra years in arthritic agony?

If you have an I. Q. comparable to that of a typical member of the "Avengers" you surely assume he has taken the former. And you would be correct. Which just goes to show you that each "Avenger" -- and every other person in the Marvel Universe -- is a complete idiot.

Now it's not just that foolish Peter Parker is dealing with some sort of vague "pseudo-Satan." I've done that before. The key is to never give away anything you actually want. I myself traded away the soul of someone I didn't care about. So I gained immeasurable power at no cost to myself.

But Peter Parker is -- if the hearsay can be trusted -- trading away something he likes for something that really doesn't do him any good. The elderly are useless. Supermodel wives are not.

Of course, this isn't particularly surprising. After all, this is a man who consistently does incredibly stupid things like reveal his secret identity on national television.

But then, I'm constantly told that Spider-Man is "one of the smartest men in the Marvel U." And if that is so, I weep for the souls of all who dwell therein.

Fools.

Some things never end... Among them is Thursday Night Thinking!

Behold: one of the DC Universe's greatest scientific minds! Your eyes do not deceive you -- that is the mad genius Thomas Oscar Morrow!

T. O. Morrow's thinking about who the world belongs to. He doesn't have to think hard!

I continue to be appalled by the state of editorial control at DC Comics. It seems that far too often continuity errors -- which fly in the face of common decency -- are allowed free reign. It is almost as if these errors are spoiled children, allowed to run free and have their way because their wealthy parents are vacationing in Europe.

This cannot stand! Continuity control is vital to the workings of a shared universe. When such things are allowed to break down chaos ensues. And though I enjoy chaos as much as the next evil genius, I am also a mad scientist. As such, I crave order.

And so, I again offer my services to DC Comics. Every week I spend a large quantity of stolen cash on their books. And every week I spot glaring continuity errors that would slip the gaze of lesser men. For a nominal fee I will bring my keen skills of observation directly to DC, allowing them to avoid the ire of "fan-boys."

You would do well to accept my offer, DiDio. If you do not, the consequences may be dire. And not just for you, but for your precious "multi-verse."

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I really do. But it's been a long time and I think everyone needs to hear -- and finally accept -- the truth:

We're not going to get Manhunter back.

I know, I know. They said they'd "uncanceled" it. And yes, like many of you Manhunter is still on my pull list at my comic shop back in the States. Grayed out. With the words "(inactive)" behind it.

But I think I've already gone through all the stages of the Kübler-Ross Model. First I denied it... Because after all, they did say it had been uncanceled. Then I raged against DC. If they hadn't canceled it in the first place, this wouldn't be happening. Next, of course, I begged the Phantom Stranger to intervene on my behalf. But he don't fly that way. Then came the crippling depression. No more Manhunter? Why bother living?

By the time I'd pulled myself up off the floor and sobered up I'd reached the final stage: acceptance. I now know that Manhunter isn't coming back. And though it pains me, I'm willing to live with that. I'm not happy that I won't be seeing more of Kate Spencer's adventures. But that's life.

Of course, in the comics there seems to be a sixth stage: resurrection. So who knows? That revolving door has to be good for something.

Tonight: a Thursday Night Thinking mystery!

Who is this mysterious thinker? Where is he thinking? And most importantly, what is he thinking of doing to poor Dick Grayson?

The possibilities boggle the mind!

Some nights you just don't feel like doing anything. This happens to be one such evening. So, I've decided that there will be no substantive blog post. Instead, I intend to spend some time reading a book and then go to bed early. Still, I probably should run that idea by my loyal "idea checker."

So, how about that plan, Wild Dog?

Never argue with a vigilante. G'night everybody.

So, DC has seen fit to release a a list of worlds in the new multiverse. I seem to recall DC specifically saying that they would not release this information. But hey, I guess they can do whatever they want.

I should say that -- despite Countdown not living up to my expectations -- I think I'm starting to be won over (slightly) by the multiverse concept. Though that could have more to do with the prospect of a ginormous war between Monarch, his multiversal thugs, and the Monitors.

I'd pay to see that.

Oh, wait. I am going to pay to see that.

You may have noticed that I post a lot less on this blog than Diamondrock or the Doctor. That's because I don't often have a lot to say. I've always been the quiet type (or so they tell me).

But sometimes I just have to come out and talk about my feelings. It's the only way to keep me from breaking down and wailing on some guy or taking my vigilantism to a new level of 90's "x-treme." And I know that no one wants that.

So I'd just like to say this: you-know-who never appreciated me. When I stood in for him -- know that he asked me to do it -- I didn't get so much as a thank you. Instead he assaulted the Batcave, disarmed me, and dumped me on the street. I was just trying to help, you know. I did take down Bane thank you very much.

And nobody every mentions my daring barricade assault on a fortified Gotham City during the "Contagion" event. I drove a sports car through a military checkpoint! It was red! Am I the only one who remembers that? I helped save Robin's life! How many other vigilantes can claim that.

What I'm saying is that I'd just like a little recognition. I'm really not asking for a costume in the Batcave or anything like that. Maybe a plaque? Or just a photo of me in the back of the cave. It could be kept in drawer where nobody else can see it; I'd be okay with that.

Just give me some credit. I did do some good during those hundred issues and however many crossovers. I tried...

Thursday Night Thinking!

Sometimes I sit around and wait for events to unfold around me. Though I am often the center of a grand drama, occasionally I am only a supporting character.

And so here I sit, waiting to see if anyone from Checkmate will break into my home and try to shop me off to that ridiculous Salvation Run world. And though I amuse myself designing elaborate deathtraps which which to crush my enemies, Polaris remains bored.

I shake my fist in rage! Terrible rage! Am I not a supervillain? If you cut me, do I not bleed? And yet here I sit, alone save for a fine battle of wine, my wits, and my memories of better times.

Remember when I became one of the Earth's magnetic poles? That was good for a hoot. Or that time I tried to kill bother Daddy Ray and Little Ray. Truly days to remember. Or what about the time I used magnetic mind control to force millions into slavery?

I miss the good old days...

So yeah. Let's talk about Eclipso.

I used to be a really huge fan of Eclipso. I like crazy costumes, evil powers, and general ominousness. (is that a word?) Eclipso's got all of those. Or at least he used to.

And yeah, I am referring to Eclipso as "he" even though the current host of Eclipso is one Jean Loring. But solicitation previews prove that Eclipso's going back into Bruce Gordon where he belongs.

Eclipso is a brilliant idea with a truly unique character design. But somewhere along the way Eclipso lost his way. I think it all started during the Eclipso: The Darkness Within event (of which I own every issue) that ran through all of DC's annuals sometime back in the 90's. It was an attempt to jazzercise Eclipso into a "hip," "radical" 90's super-villain. Which meant he had to kill a lot of people. And not in a stylish, 1930's Joker kind of way.

So Eclipso's one diamond was split into multiples and everybody and their brother got possessed by Eclipso. There was a lot of nasty stuff, a palace on the moon, and then it ended. Also, one of the Starmen was involved. I think it was the one that no one liked.

Anyway, after that Eclipso had a short-lived series where her killed a lot more people and also tried to kill Sherlock Holmes. (seriously!) He'd lost his nifty costume by this point and had been redesigned with an edgy, 90's sensibility. It was pretty awful.

So Eclipso needed fixing by this point. And lo, when the character with broken continuity needed fixing the Geoff Johns did descend from the heavens and all was right again. And so it was in Johns' JSA arc Princes of Darkness where Eclipso was back to his old tricks (and costume). He wrecked up a good portion of the JSA in that way he does until Jay Garrick stopped him with some well-thrown bricks and his hat. Stylish.

Eclipso was back to one diamond and all seemed right with the world. But then Infinite Crisis started sneaking up on us. And who got the diamond? Resident DCU crazy lady, bad guy, and murderer Jean Loring. And that, my friends, does not work. I will tell you why.

The thing that made Eclipso work as a character were not his evil powers or his awesome hat. It was the dichotomy. That classic dichotomy of good and Evil. When Bruce Gordon was Eclipso, he knew that at any moment something could go wrong and he'd lose control of his body to a dangerous, malevolent entity. And that equals drama.

If the person Eclipso is possessing is just as bad (or possibly worse) than Eclipso, then that dichotomy does not exist. And without it, the Eclipso concept is simply broken. You end up with just another super-villain who shoots beams out of his eyes (or eye, as the case may be).

Eclipso's host needs to be in a constant struggle with him, a representative of that internal struggle between good an evil. Writers at DC often try to use Two-Face to represent that struggle. But as smarter men than me have pointed out, Two-Face isn't about that: he'ss a character for whom there is no difference between good and evil. Flip a coin: it doesn't matter what the answer is because they're both the same.

But it's not that way with Eclipso. For Eclipso is distinctly about that struggle. And without it, the character simply will not work. Luckily, things seems to be getting back on track in Countdown to Mystery (which is awesome and you should all be reading it). Eclipso is being returned to Bruce Gordon -- where he belongs.

And once again we will get to see the conflict between good and evil that rages inside all of us played out in a grand fashion on the streets of the DCU.

The big man has spoken: it's time again for Friday Night Fights!

Tonight, in a ring beneath the sea... It's Aquaman versus the abominable Un-Thing!

Get up off the sand, Arthur! Are you going to let some guy with a name like Un-Thing take you down?

As always it's... Thursday Night Thinking!

Tonight, the thoughts come courtesy a certain Jack Kirby:

Ahh... Look at all those Kirby Dots. Don't you think they're beautiful? Guess the context, kids!

I just wanted to say, straight out, that I'm really looking forward to Gail Simone's Wonder Woman. (I love you, Gail!)

And reading about the plans for the series make me more and more excited. The idea of every issue being like a Ray Harryhausen movie makes me want to dance a ridiculous jig with glee.

It's exactly the way it needs to be, you know. Batman's got his street crime with the insane maniacs... Superman's got his alien menaces... Wonder Woman really should be fighting living statues, multi-headed monstrosities, and insane evil gods. Gorillas are good, too.

The most important thing is that we see a lot of fun action infused with a little bit of wit. Something that's been missing from Wonder Woman for far to long. There's no better person for that than Gail Simone.

And she'd better get that invisible jet...

I didn't get an invitation to join you-know-who's new Outsiders team.

I mean, it's not like I actually expected it. But know that I was hopeful that I might get a call. When I heard that he was taking over the team, I thought maybe it was an opportunity. Sure, he doesn't want to work with me when people know it. But a covert team that he can disavow? It's a match made in Heaven!

I'd fit right in among a team of misfits and freaks that nobody else wants to have around. And if you need someone with cred as a "dangerous, unhinged psychopath" then well... I'm your man!

Plus I would get to hang out with all sorts of interesting people. Katana, Metamorpho, Geo-Force... Well, not Geo-Force. But you get the idea. People who have an understanding of being on the outside and occasionally entering into psychotic religious delusions.

And so I waited by the phone. For quite a while. I even tried calling, but I couldn't get the nerve and hung up before anyone had the chance to answer. I did that a couple of times, actually...

Those of you who know me know that in addition to being a medical doctor I am a scientist of some repute. As such, I often find myself struck by intriguing hypotheses to age old questions. Questions that have bedeviled scientists of lesser intellect for generations. Tonight, I put my mind to just such a question.

And so we begin with the query: exactly what kind of egg is Egg Fu? By "Egg Fu" I am of course referring to Chinese egg mastermind (and jerk who didn't invite me to Oolong Island) Chang Tzu.

It is clear that Chang Tzu is in fact an egg. That could not be more obvious. And as an egg, Chang Tzu must have been laid by some sort of creature. I am no biologist, but that is usually how it works. But there are literally thousands of species upon the Earth that lay eggs. Which one is the source of Chang Tzu's evil?

At first glance, the obvious answer would seem to be a dragon. After all, Chang Tzu is Chinese, a land famous for its beautiful and noble dragons. Unfortunately, a cursory evaluation of the evidence makes this highly unlikely. As I said, dragons are beautiful and noble. Chang Tzu, of course, is hideous and ignoble. After all, is it not noble to invite great minds of scientific evil when populating a sinister island with the greatest minds in scientific evil?

Aside from dragons, what creatures lay giant eggs? Another possible answer is some sort of dinosaur. After all, these great creatures once walked the Earth and laid very large eggs. But this can be quickly discounted as well. By and large, dinosaurs are extinct. It is possible that an egg from some sort of giant saurian was whisked away from Dinosaur Island. But as temporal physics are not one of China's strong suits, we'll leave that aside.

What other possibilities? Other than dragons and dinosaurs, the world's largest egg comes from the ostrich. Ostriches, of course, are known both for their delicious taste and their impressive legs. Chang Tzu has no legs. Strike ostriches from the list.

No, I believe that the answer is simpler than we have all considered. Chang Tzu is an egg that shows not even the slightest courtesy to fellow evil scientists. Only one creature could be the source of such an odious egg: the long extinct dodo.

With that, our scientific investigation is brought to a close. We have looked at all the options... And only one rises from the pack as the incontrovertible truth. And that is what science is all about.

Well, progress on this year's NaNoWriMo novel continues at a furious pace. I have currently completed 30,000 words... Putting me well ahead of the curve.

And since I've reached the point where things actually start to happen in the story, it's going to go even faster from hereon out. My nigh impossible goal is to write 5,000 words a day every day this week and reach the 50,000 by November 15th.

Wish me luck.

I received a summons last week. One telling me to get back in the ring. And when the big man calls, You gotta pick up the phone. So here I am, returning to my roots:

Oh yeah. That goes down smooth.

Thursday Night Thinking!

Sometimes simple thoughts are the best...

I read today that Paul Norris, co-creator of Aquaman, died on Tuesday. Mr. Norris was 93 years old.

With his passing, we have lost the last of the great DC Golden Age creators. We are all of us poorer for the loss.

So, Monarch wishes to start a war, does he? And the Monitors wish to join in? Well, what if they threw a war and Polaris came?

I say this now: if these two powers wish to war then I, Doctor Polaris, shall join them. Whose side am I on, you may ask? Why, that is a simple matter: I am on the winner's side. Whosoever shall emerge victorious I shall assist!

What, you say? That makes no sense? Perhaps you wonder how I can choose my side based on which will be victorious. Based on a future event. The answer is simple: the side that wins is the side with Doctor Polaris.

In this, I have have choices. Shall I throw my lot in with the Monitors, a group of fifty-one beetle-browed simians with tremendous cosmic power? They have tried to kill me before. Or shall I join with the Monarch formerly known as Captain Atom. He was a superhero. But then, he also has a massive army of masked foot soldiers. That's incredibly appealing.

So I ask you, loyal readers: whose side should I join? Should I stand with the Monitors and try to hold the Multiverse together (a few of those Earths are mine, after all)? Or should I join with Monarch, and destroy the Multiverse?

Big things are afoot in the DC Universe. I don't have to tell you that. And they are all laid out in Countdown to Final Crisis #26 -- the issue which I believe signals the beginning of the end. There are many, many important things that happen in that issue. But I'm only going to talk about one of them: Monarch's plans for the Multiverse.

In Countdown #26 (I'm not writing the whole name every time) the lead Monitor (which Earth is he from, anyway?) declares that Monarch plans to precipitate a Multiversewide war with the goal of collapsing the Multiverse back into one universe. That's some pretty heady stuff. It takes some serious stones to attempt something like that. And you know what? I hope he does it.

I've made no secret of my dislike of the Multiverse concept. I never liked the first one, and I've been ambivalent about the new one since its introduction. I've mostly managed to make my peace with its existence, but that doesn't mean I ever liked it.

And now I don't have to. Because there's someone out there who's trying to destroy it! Now don't get me wrong; I don't think the Multiverse will actually be destroyed. I don't think Monarch will win. And I'm not sure it would be a good thing if he did. But until this war is over, I'm with Monarch.

Let the Multiverse burn.

Well, it's been one of those long weekends where I don't post at all. Sorry about that, friends. But rest assured I have some things planned for this week. Last week was a hell of a week for comics, and I really want to talk about some of them. I just need to get my thoughts in order.

So expect me (or my co-bloggers) to be talking about Action Comics, Death of the New Gods, and Countdown (sorry, Countdown to Final Crisis). I just need to get some sleep first. You know how it is. Watch this space.

Thursday Night Thinking returns! This week: thinking on the beach. Evil thinking. Because as sad as it is, the evil think as much as the good. And sometimes more.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do no thinking." Or something to that effect...

It's that time of year again... With November just around the corner it's time for National Novel Writing Month! Once again I will drive myself mad trying to write 50,000 words of a novel.

This year? Science fiction! I'm breaking out of my usual mode of "high fantasy" and am instead high tailing it to outer space. Waking gods, sleeping androids, and undead horrors in the darkest depths of the galaxy! Away we go!

There are many days when I don't know what to post on here. Tonight was one of those, so I did what I usually do when Doctor Polaris and Azrael aren't around: I started skimming other blogs.

And when that fails, I can usually find something on Newsarama that strikes my fancy. And boy, did I ever. I headed over to Newsarama's blog and what did I find but this little article about New Frontier. Including its voice cast.

There are some good names on there. But none made the eyes bulge out of my head like the person doing Wonder Woman. That's right, friends. Lucy Lawless -- Xena herself -- will be voicing Wonder Woman.

It should come as no surprise to anyone with even a passing understanding of how my geek-addled brain works that I love Xena: Warrior Princess. It has everything that anyone could ever want in a television program. I defy anyone to prove differently. I dare ya.

And most of what made Xena great was Xena herself. And what made Xena great was Lucy Lawless. I always thought she would make a great Wonder Woman. Now I'll get the chance to see if I'm right.

It has come to my attention that "Hollywood" is preparing to make a Green Lantern film This makes me feel alternating bands of white-hot rage and delicious anticipation.

The rage, of course, stems from that fact that I will not likely be in the film. Though I am one of Jordan's longest running adversaries, "Tinseltown" will undoubtedly feel that Sinestro will make a better villain on the big screen. So what we'll get is a pompous ass preening onscreen. While fighting another preening, pompous ass.

And my anticipation? Why, the opportunity to sit in a dark theater and heckle Hal Jordan on screen. Opportunities such as that only come along once in a great while. Be assured that Polaris will not miss the opportunity. I will be there -- front and center -- throwing those delightful chocolate-covered raisins at the screen.

So I finally got around to watching the animated Superman/Doomsday movie that I got as a gift for my birthday. I know there's been a lot of criticism on the Internet of it, and after watching it I can understand that.

It certainly bears very little resemblance to The Death and Return of Superman. But that's to be expected. A proper animated treatment of that story would take hours and hours. It just wasn't feasible.

Instead, the creators took a different route. They took the bare bones concept of a killer fight with Doomsday and then buitl their own story around it. By and large, it works. The voice actors are better than I thought they'd be, and the story is entertaining enough.

Still, there are a lot of problems. There are scenes that feel unnecessary, and some of the characters act in ways that just don't feel true to who the characters really are. So in the end, Superman/Doomsday never rises to the level of quality I've come to expect from DC's animation products.

But the Superboot was awesome! If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. Superbot stole the show and made up for any shortcoming the rest of the movie had.

I love Superbot.

Welcome to the twentieth edition of Thursday Night Thinking! As always, we celebrate the schemer, the plotter, and the common man with the uncommon plan!

This week... Something a little different! When you're an evil, space-faring, telepathic starfish you're always thinking. Even when it looks like you're saying it out loud:

What a kind thought. Thank you, Starro.

Well, I've been suffering from quite a cold these past few days. Of course, it's nothing that a weekend locked in a subterranean chamber bombarded by magnetic rays can't cure. Or so my doctor tells me.

Anyway, I'd like to talk about Death of the New Gods. I know that some people are touchy about the subject of a certain character's death. Without naming names, let me just say this: I'm glad he/she is dead. This may shock you. Yes, I liked the character. Heck, I liked the character a lot. But what I do not like are the New Gods.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: they don't fit in the greater DC Universe. They're too weird and wacky and I really, really want to see them all die. Call me bloodthirsty, but I wasn't pleased with the afore mentioned character's death because of the death. I was pleased because it is merely a prelude to the greater slaughter to come.

But I guess that means I am a little bloodthirsty after all. But the New Gods do something the the DC Universe. It's hard for me to articulate it, but I'll give it a try. To me, the New Gods seem to cheapen the DC Universe just a little bit. I know that doesn't make sense -- many people think the Fourth World enriches the DCU. I just don't happen to be one of them.

The New Gods are over the top and overpowered. They are supposed to be gods. And honestly, I'm not sure how keen I am about gods walking around the DCU. If gods really do walk around the DCU, then the things they do and say are automatically more important than the things that any other characters do and say. They're frickin' gods.

And I don't want that. I want Wonder Woman and Superman and Batman to be the most important characters in the DCU. I want it to be clear to everyone that the greatest evil doesn't have to be a distant, rocky-faced deity. It can be as simple as a bald man in a suit. Or a clown with a rictus grin.

But as long as the New Gods still run around in their garish costumes these things cannot come to pass. As long as these so-called deities hold court the real players of the DC Universe will be pushed the sidelines whenever the "gods" appear.

So kill 'em all, I say. Off with their heads.

My villainy was interrupted this past weekend when I was forced to make a house call. The proprietor of this blog has been gravely ill and in need of the services of a physician. A cursory evaluation revealed that he is suffering from the dreaded acute viral nasopharyngitis -- better known to quacks and charlatans as the common cold.

I prescribed a regimen of bed rest, orange-juice, and a daily dose of concentrated magnetism. Though he appears to be in better spirits, it is best that he remain shackled to his bed and under the watchful eye of a medical practitioner. Rest assured that I shall keep him locked in a dimly lit room for much of the rest of the week so that he may recover from his illness without distraction.

I am very excited by my imminent return in the pages of Gotham Underground. I hope that the artist takes time to draw my original costume properly. It is not an easy costume to draw, but I believe it to be worth the effort.

I also hope the the people of Gotham City will welcome me back with open arms. I can only hope that absence has made the heart grow fonder, and that they people of Gotham will accept my crazed, 90's style vigilantism. Additionally, I really hope that flaming swords are back in style.

Honestly, though. It's not the people of Gotham City I'm most worried about. It's the other crime fighters in Gotham. I've worked with them in the past, but it hasn't always gone well. Nightwing never liked me, and I think Robin felt sorry for me. And I'm something like twelve years older than the kid.

I just want them to let me back in the club. I liked being part of the "Bat Family." We all need some place to belong...

Once again... Thursday Night Thinking! As always, here we celebrate the thinking man (or woman). The schemer, the plotter, the mad genius, and the common man with the uncommon plan!

But one man who's anything but common is Scott Free... Better known as Mister Miracle! What're you thinking about, Scott?

Nothing like fifty floors of howling enemies to make you sit back and think about life...

Well, well, well. Things are looking up for a certain "Daughter of Cain." If my eyes do not deceive me that's Batgirl on a team with a bunch of characters who can all charitably be called heroes (with the exception of Geo-Force, who we like to call "incompetent").

The big question is, how are they going to get her back into working with Batman? I mean, in the past few years he has barely acknowledged her presence. He's ignored her almost completely. Not to mention the fact that DC's had her written so inconsistently recently that no two appearances are the same.

Ever since they canceled her book, DC hasn't had any idea what to do with Cassandra Cain. Hopefully Chuck Dixon will find something to do with her. And Batman as well...

DC's January solicitations are up. What caught my interest the most? That would be Countdown to Mystery #5.

The solicitations says that "the returns of Eclipso is bad news for the DC Universe." That would certainly be true... If an Eclipso of a sort hadn't been running around in Jean Loring's body. Thing is, she never felt like the real deal to me. The real deal was the guy with the creepy face and the weird hat who shot rays out of his eye with a diamond.

Oh, look! That's the guy I'm talking about on the cover. Seems to me that they're going to be stripping Eclipso away from Jean Loring. Possibly he'll be going back to a male host and returning to his original appearance. I'd actually be fine with that; I'm not certain the Jean Loring Eclipso was ever a good idea.

But then, this separation will unleash a terrible evil upon the world. Something filled with hate and insanity. But hopefully they'll be able to handle Jean...

I was just checking out the preview for Brave and the Bold #7. Looks like the start of an interesting story. But of course, the first thing that caught my eye was the artwork. And I was reminded again why George Perez is one of the greatest artists to ever work in comics.

I've seen Power Girl drawn in a lot of different ways. I've seen her drawn by Jim Lee, Phil Jimenez, and Amanda Connor (among others). But I just want to say that I think George Perez draws the most flat out beautiful Power Girl I've ever seen. She's gorgeous. I love it.

And she's beautiful without looking weak. Lots of artists seem to have a problem with that. They either buff Power Girl up too much for my tastes or they overdo it with the "sexy" and she stops looking strong. But George Perez (not surprisingly) hits it just right.

I hope he keeps drawing until he's a hundred.

I'm usually the last person to get on editors for mistakes in comics. It's just not something that's in my nature. But I did see something in Booster Gold #3 that made me twitch. Something inexcusable:

Take a look at that gravestone. It says Lionel Luther Junior. Anyone who knows anything about DC Comics should immediately see the glaring, unconscionable error.

The name is Luthor. It's been Luthor since the beginning and it'll always be Luthor. Spelling it Luther isn't just inexcusably wrong -- It's potentially life-threatening.

See, certain types of people take the spellings of their names very seriously. I know I get a little annoyed when people spell my mysterious, unknown surname incorrectly. And I'm a pretty reasonable guy. Most people would agree that Lex Luthor is not.

So how do you think the most dangerous man alive is going to react when he finds out someone has misspelled his name? Chances are, he ain't gonna take it well.

Y'know, Azrael's not the only one who noticed this post about Gotham Underground. It got me to thinking. I've never really weighed in on whether or not Stephanie deserves a memorial case. But I know a lot of people are really passionate about it.

Which got me wondering... Why has nobody ever petitioned for Azrael to get a memorial case? I mean, he may not have been a Robin, but he was a Batman. That's gotta be worth something, right? Apparently not. C'mon, DC! Where's Jean Paul Valley's memorial case in the Batcave?

Know that I have returned to Gotham City. No longer must I languish in hiding, looking over my shoulder every moment for beetle-browed, bearded brutes. I can once again freely slink through the shadows and engage in brutal, violent vigilantism.

"But Azrael," you may ask. "Why have they stopped hunting you? Aren't you one of those crazy anomalies everybody is talking about?" Perhaps I was... But no longer!

See? See? There I am, right on the cover of one of the issues of Gotham Underground. And if I am featured on the cover, then surely I am in the comic. And if I am in the comic, then surely I am not dead.

After all, astute readers know that my body was never found. Did anyone really believe that I was dead? You all thought I was merely gone. You thought no writer was willing to bring me back and do something with me. Well, know that you were all wrong! I am coming back! And I'm ready to hit the ground running. Let the 90's style vigilantism commence!

Last week I was remiss in my duties. But sometimes Thursday Night Thinking takes a backseat when you're traveling. Apologies to all!

But no worries... I'm sure the thinking continued without me. Just as it continues this very night:

Ah, that little blue ox is always good for a think. How about you? What forgotten dreams are you thinking about?

Greetings loyal readers. I, Doctor Polaris, have returned.

You may wonder where I have been for the past few weeks. It is, after all, a valid question. Some of you may assume that I have been on vacation just as the gracious proprietor of this blog has been. But know this: villainy never takes a vacation.

Rather, I have been traveling through time. This is not in and of itself unusual. After all, my torrid, 31st century affair with the Emerald Empress is a matter of public record. But this time, Polaris has not scoured the time stream for love... He has scoured it for revenge.

Indeed, I seek the interminable Booster Gold so that I might slay him. The fact that he has received his very old solo series fills me with fiery rage! While I and others like me languish in obscurity, Booster Gold is given his own solo series? Truly there is no justice in the world. Or injustice, as the case may be.

But Booster Gold is as unctuous as a Japanese eel. Whenever I think I have him within my magnetic grasp he eludes me. But I will find him. And I will destroy him. Though I admit that he is a convenient target upon which to take out my frustrations, that is not my sole reason for attempting to end his life. If I kill one of the the stars of 52 they won't be able to ignore me any more.

And I'm not sure even I could take on Black Adam. So Booster Gold it is.

Any of you still there? I know I am. I'm back, and I'm feeling good. Nothing like five days in a miserably hot country where I don't speak the language during the worst typhoon in years to recharge my juices. Oh yeah.

So I'm feeling better and I think I'm ready to resume blogging. I imagine I won't be the only one showing up. I haven't heard from Doctor Polaris in awhile, true. But you know you can't keep that man down. No matter how hard you try...

You may have noticed that I haven't been around a lot lately. To the five of you who read this (that includes you, Mom!) It's just because I've been a little bit burnt out. Work's been hitting me and things are as they are. You know how life gets.

And I won't be posting much (read: at all) this week either. Because tomorrow (after some thinking) I'm flying to Taiwan for a five day vacation. It should be an interesting experience as it'll be my first time visiting a country where I don't speak the language.

So. I'll see y'all when I get back. G'night.

This is my 400th post.

I know I haven't posted at all over the past week. Sometimes things just get away from you. This week was one of those weeks. A combination of work, holidays, and the fact that I haven't gotten my comics yet has kept me out of the game.

But one game that never ends... The Thinking!

I will return. Count on it.

Thursday Night Thinking returns! Unable to find a suitably terrifying image of Jean Loring thinking, I had to settle for Ray Palmer:

It takes some serious chutzpah to think your way into the beard of famed French science-fictionist Jules Verne.

What say you?

Kalinara brought to my attention something very important. In skimming the new DC solicitations, I failed to notice this one for Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters:

UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #4
Written by Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art by Renato Arlem
Cover by Dave Johnson
The Doll Man War begins! Plus, Red Bee’s daring escape from a government lab. And if that’s not enough...the return of Neon the Unknown!
On sale December 26 • 4 of 8 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

You see it, don't you? The Return of Neon the Unknown!!

My love for the Unknown is no secret. In fact, back during the first Freedom Fighters series I practically begged Justin Gray over on a message board to put Neon in.

It seems that the fates have conspired to make at least one of my weird, twisted dreams come true. Only about 200,000 to go...

Every once in a while a character appears in comics that shatters everything we thought we knew about the medium. Such characters do not go unnoticed. They are usually hailed as what they are: Sensational Character Finds.

It goes without saying that Robin, the Boy Wonder was the Sensational Character Find of 1940. There are others, of course. 1975 had a Sensational Character Find. Others rightly claim that 1984 also had a Sensational Character Find.

This brings us to the obvious question... Who's the Sensational Character Find of 2007? If you've been reading Countdown, the answer should be blindingly obvious:

That's right, friends. Hassan is without a doubt the Sensational Character Find of 2007. Since his first appearance in Countdown #37 he's changed the way we look at comics. With nothing more than a few incomprehensible words and a scimitar, Hassan has reaffirmed our faith in comic books.

So let's all raise our glasses to Hassan, the mummy with a sword that stole our hearts. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of him.

Now and forever, it's Thursday Night Thinking!

This week, we've got a returning contender. He's tiny, he's blue, and... I can't think of anything that rhymes with blue. But still, that ox can think!

Nor would I, my friend. Nor would I.

So information about Titans East was released at Baltimore Comic-Con. Apparently the team is going to consist of Nightwing, Cyborg, Donna Troy, Starfire, Raven and Beast Boy. In other words, the non-teens that I thought I'd finally gotten rid of.

I didn't read the Wolfman/Perez Titans. I have no interest in reading it. I don't find most of those characters particularly interesting on their own. Why would I want to see them all together?

To tell you the truth, I'd considered Titans East. Especially after seeing the cover to the one shot. Some people were turned off by the appearance of Power Boy, but I was turned on by the appearance of Vulcan. And to a lesser extent, Lagoon Boy.

I'm a rarity in this stretch of the universe: I tend to like the stuff that Judd Winick does. And to me, a team of misfits and weirdos like that seems like a perfect fit for him. He could do some interesting things with it. Plus, Vulcan.

But instead we get another attempt at bringing those same old tired Titans back into a team book together. What exactly are they going to do? Fight Deathstroke again? Fight Brother Blood again? Fight Trigon again and again and again?

I like to see new characters mixing with old characters. Sometimes I like just new characters. And yes, I do sometimes enjoy just old characters. But the funny thing about the line-up for this team is that even though there are characters decades older, they all seem awfully dated to me.

I'm just not sure they've got what it takes.

It's always good to start a week (albeit belatedly) with a nice meme. So, courtesy of Ami and Kalinara here's a "Ten Character Meme."
First, select your ten fictional characters (from any medium) by whichever method you like best. Then answer the questions below.

1. Snake Eyes (G. I. Joe)
2. Miss Martian (DC Comics)
3. Cagalli Yula Athla (Gundam Seed)
4. Haruka Amami (Idolmaster Xenoglossia)
5. Horatio Caine (CSI: Miami)
6. Heero Yuy (Gundam Wing)
7. Alan Scott (DC Comics)
8. Garnet Til Alexandros XVIII (Final Fantasy IX)
9. Celes Chere (Final Fantasy VI)
10. Jean Paul Valley (DC Comics)

1. Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group of five would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, Lancer (second-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, The Chick? If you think the team would be improved by swapping one character between the even and odd groups, which ones would you switch?

Okay, here we go:

Team A: Snake Eyes, Cagalli, Horatio Caine, Alan Scott, and Celes Chere
Team B: Miss Martian, Haruka Amami, Heero Yuy, Garnet, and Azrael

Ooh, this doesn't work out so well. Some of it's good, but the rest? Here's how I'd lay it out:

Team A

Leader: Alan Scott
Lancer: Celes Chere
Big Guy: Snake Eyes
Smart Guy: Horatio Caine
The Chick: Cagalli

Hmm... That actually worked out better than I thought. Though I'm not sure Caine qualifies as a "Smart Guy." And being "The Chick" Isn't really fair to Cagalli.

Team B

Leader: Garnet
Lancer: Haruka Amami
Big Guy: Heero Yuy
Smart Guy: Azrael
The Chick: Miss Martian

I am well aware that Azrael is definitely not the "Smart Guy." But I had to put him somewhere and there's no "Mopey One."

Team A definitely has more heavy hitters, so they have the slight edge in this competition. If I could swap any two I'd send Azrael to be "The Chick" on Team A (since we know that being "The Chick" in Power Rangers has no actual connection to gender).

2. Gender-swap 2, 8 & 10. Which character would have the most change in their story arc? Which the least? Would any of these characters have to have a complete personality change to be believable as the opposite sex?

Oh boy. This one should be interesting. For Miss Martian, of course, there would be very little change. Martians barely have gender as it is.

I think Garnet would be pretty much the same, honestly. Obviously he'd need a plucky thief girl with a tail to show him the ropes. Actually, that'd be kind of cool.

Poor Azrael. He'd probably still have the same angsty personality. And instead of a string of disastrous relationships with women she'd have a string of disastrous relationships with men. And her villains wouldn't be any better, either...

3. Compare the matchups of 1 & 8 and 5 & 9. (Ignore canon sexual preferences for the moment.) Which couple would be more compatible? Which couple would be more plausible to people from either principal's home culture?

Snake Eyes & Garnet
Horatio Caine & Celes Chere

Uh oh. The first pairing gives us a couple of dreary loners. (both of whom have been mute at one time or another!) If they had a relationship it would be very quiet.

Caine and Celes, on the other hand... If I tilt my head just right (and remove my Sunglasses of Justice) I can see it. They're both strong characters who excel in their fields. And both look for exactly that sort of person in their partners. So I think it could work.

As for acceptance in their cultures, I think Snake Eyes might have a little trouble with the fact that Garnet's sixteen. But in the Final Fantasy and CSI universes, age don't matter at all. They're good to go.

4. Your team is 3, 4 & 9. The mission consists of a social challenge, a mental challenge and a physical challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?

Oh, this one is easy. Haruka takes the social challenge, Cagalli takes the mental challenge, and Celes takes the physical challenge. They'll all be aces.

5. 7 becomes 1's boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's their working relationship?

Alan Scott becomes Snake Eyes's boss, huh? I can see that working. I'm guessing it happens when Alan's still a part of Checkmate.

Now, it could go two ways depending on whether this is Comic Snake Eyes or Cartoon Snake Eyes. If it's Cartoon Snake Eyes, they'll get along great. Because despite his rad ninja skills, he'll never kill anybody. And we know how Alan Feels about killing.

But if it's Comic Snake Eyes, we'll have Alan complaining about the Cobra (Kobra?) body count. Still, I think Alan will value Comic Snake Eyes's contribution. He knows a good soldier when he sees one.

6. 2 finds him/her/itself inserted into 6's continuity. As far as anyone other than 2 or 6 is concerned, they've always been there. What role would 2 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit in without going wonky?

Miss Martian in the Gundam Wing Universe? This is not going to be pretty. I'm guessing that Miss Martian is a crashed alien who ends up befriending Heero's love interest Relena (in disguise, of course). Heero and Miss Martian will of course clash, and Heero (in his moody silence) will greatly resent Miss Martian's chipperness.

It'd be really wonky.

7. 3 and 5 get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?

Cagalli and Caine have to agree on three wishes? Hmm... Well, I think the first would would be to bring their dead relatives back to life. They could agree on that easily, as they have both lost very important people in their lives.

Wish number two? I'm thinking "end the fighting" whether it's Miami gang fights or the Bloody Valentine War, they both want to protect the people who get caught in the crossfires. That's both of their primary objectives.

And number three? I think Caine could convince Cagalli that they wish for really sweet sunglasses. She's that kind of girl.

8. 1 and 2 are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 4. They keep their normal personality, skills and competence level, except any Code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 4 survive? How?

So Snake Eyes and Miss Martian are trying to kill Haruka Amami, are they? They are totally screwed. Because Haruka is never without Imber, her giant robot/boyfriend (it's complicated). And there's no way he's going to let anyone lay a hand on her.

9. 6, 7, 9 & 10 must help an orphanage full of small and depressed children have a merry Christmas. Who does what, knowing that at the very least the kids will be expecting a visit from Santa?

So we've got born leader Alan Scott and three mopey angsters who are all genetically engineered to be killing machines. Alan's got his work cut out for him.

Still, Alan'll whip 'em into shape. Before you know it he'll have Azrael dressed as Santa, Celes singing Christmas carols, and Heero somehow baking cookies. And he'll do it all while relaxing with a cup of eggnog. He's that good.

10. 3 and 8 are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests or their own personality conflicts?

Hmm, Cagalli and Garnet. Two adopted princesses (more or less) with mysterious pasts. And greater personal strength than anyone could've guessed. Those girls will make it. With weeks to spare.

Hey, that was a lot of fun! If they are so inclined I tag Tom and Calvin, two men whose levels of geekiness near my own! Make me proud, boys.

Seeing as I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in about two weeks (and tonight is mercifully free) I'm going to bed early. Very early. I don't think anyone could be against me doing that.

Good night, everybody.

Welcome once again to Thursday Night Thinking! Here we celebrate the schemer, the plotter, the super-genius, and the common man with the uncommon plan!

Every genius is a thinker. But not every thinker is a genius! And Hal Jordan knows it:

What about you?

On the advice of friends I have traveled back across the country to Opal City, where I'm planning on hiding away for a while.

Know that this city perplexes me, with it's very un-Gothamlike architecture and it's mysterious lack of suburbs. It's admittedly creepy, but then, not so bad as having a vengeful crusader ghost haunt your every waking moment. (St. Dumas be praised!)

When I arrived in town I looked up the Shade, to see if he'd let me crash at his place for a few days. Like myself, he's one of those guys that straddles the line between heroism and villainy. So I figured we might have a few things in common.

Not so much.

The Shade was immediately dismissive of me, even when I explained that I was one the run from forces too terrible to comprehend. In fact, once I had the whole story out he seemed quite annoyed that I might in fact have brought those unspeakable forces along to "his city."

I knew immediately then that we weren't going to get along. I know another guy who's always going on about a certain city being "his city." Pfff, Like the rest of us can't be vigilantes there just because he is.

Anyway, the Shade told me to get out of town and then threw me out a fifth story window. Of course, I survived, and I'm currently hanging out in an abandoned bus station. Not sure where I should go next, though...

Those who've read this blog a bit know that I wuv Miss Martian. The only problem is that as far as we can tell she was found under a cabbage. We haven't gotten any explanation as to where she came from or how she joined the Titans.

Unless I've missed something, all we really know is that she's a White Martian. Now, White Martian's usually try to kill lots and lots of people. So right there we know she's not your typical White Martian (Drizzt's Law applies).

But who exactly is she? How did she end up on Earth? Why isn't she a scary toothy-mawed maniac? Is she really a teenager? I want to know the answers to these questions, and I want to know what (if any) connection she has to J'onn J'onzz. As far as I know, the two have never been seen together. Is she connected to him at all?

You'd think he'd take an interest in her, what with her being Miss Martian. He obviously has to know that she's not really a Green Martian (because if he doesn't, he's slacking off on the manhunting). Is he okay with that? Is he somehow responsible for her current sunny disposition and rosy outlook on life?

I demand answers to the Miss Martian conundrum. I can only hope that Sean McKeever will supply those. Because Geoff Johns -- despite creating the character -- most certainly has not.

My good friend Scipio has just recently directed my attention to this.

I am not entirely sure how I should feel about it. It would appear that my avatar is considerably enraptured by that which is above him. But what could be there that this miniature version of my glorious self finds so fascinating?

Despite what I may feel about his stance, I am pleased that the sculptors got my boots right. However! I am less pleased that they made a grave error when it came to painting my gloves.

Know this: The gloves of Polaris keep the vital first and fourth fingers uncovered! You may ask why this is so. Fools! You could not possibly comprehend the inner workings of my genius brain!

Know that the brilliant fashion of Doctor Polaris can only be understood by the truly exceptional! Polaris has spoken!

I've been caught up in watching a lot of anime lately. I do that during the vacation times when there's not a lot else to do. Mostly I've been watching the various Gundam series. I love Gundam because, well, giant robots. Also -- like comics -- a lot of static rules tend to apply. So without further ado:

Rules for Surviving the Gundamverse:

1. Don't go to space. It never helps.

2. Someone is secretly your brother/sister. It may be your arch-foe or the person you have a crush on. It could be anyone.

3. The guy in the mask is either ridiculously noble or incredibly insane. Plan accordingly.

4. Never trust the military. For that matter, don't trust civilians, either.

5. Don't worry if you've never operated a car or so much as changed a light bulb. You'll be able to pilot a mobile suit with ease.

6. Look for the guys with a "Z" in their name. They're probably evil.

7. The guys they're fighting are most likely evil, too.

8. Someone has a giant space cannon, warship, or satellite. They will try to shoot the Earth. Keep an eye out.

9. Never turn your back on a pretty girl.

10. Don't try to fight the guy in the Gundam. You can't win.

It never ends... The... The thinking! The Thursday Night Thinking! And tonight the Pre-Crisis Earth-2 Hawkman thinks up a storm! (who says the old Multiverse wasn't confusing?)

I'm pretty sure it's your helmet, Carter.

What do you think?

Star City's a lot cleaner than I thought it would be. But then, compared to Gotham most cities are clean.

Know that I am still fleeing from my pursuers. Star City's pretty big, so it's easy to hide. The biggest problem about this place is the hippies. So many hippies. I think I may head over to Coast City. Lot's of empty buildings to hide in.

And no hippies.

Are there any villains in the Marvel Universe?

I ask this only because it seems like "heroes" in the Marvel Universe do nothing but fight other "heroes." Every time there's a big event or a touted special issue it's about one of the "good guys" beating up on another one of the "good guys."

Civil War of course is the obvious one. Petty infighting was the point of all that, after all. And World War Hulk is a bunch of "heroes" fighting the Hulk. Who I thought was supposed to be kind of a good guy at one point.

Heck, even the big deal about issue #3 of Thor is the fact that Thor's fighting Iron Man. Why is that? Doesn't Thor have any villains or monsters he could fight? I'd think that would be a lot more interesting than seeing him pound on Tony Stark for twenty-two pages.

But then, I'm not exactly the target audience. I like watching Superman fight giant monkeys, after all. Nobody ever seems to fight giant monkeys in the Marvel U...

It has recently been brought to my attention that I am featured -- perhaps prominently -- in the new set of DC HeroClix miniatures.


This pleases Polaris. Though not on the scale of a massive statue, these miniatures will still feature my likeness. And they will last forever! Though I fully intend to live for eternity, perhaps there will come a time when even I pass away. But even in that grim, dark future I will not be forgotten! For when all of mankind's other creations pass away the Doctor Polaris HeroClix will yet remain!

But this is idle speculation. Of immediate importance is the quality of the sculpt. So far, images of this miniature elude me. I wish to gaze into the eye of eternity and see myself gaze back. I want to know that the sculptors have done my form justice.

I suppose there is also the matter of the gameplay. I myself have not yet taken part in a game of HeroClix. Will my astonishing powers of magnetism be appropriately depicted? And most important of all: will my Heroclix figure be able to beat the crap out of Magneto's?

I demand answers!

Some things in life just don't last... And Thursday Night Thinking isn't one of those things!

Get a move on! You can think when you're dead!